Monday, November 21, 2011

Mr. NOT right!

This morning, I was randomly thinking about this guy I used to have a crush on. I guess that's the best way to put it. We "talked", I guess you could call it, if you HAD to call it something, for a lil while. This morning, specifically, I was thinking about how he told me, pretty much, "you are called by GOD and I ain't the one for that!" I used to say "if I were to build a guy, he would look like _ _ _ _ _". And while that statement IS true, I'm thankful that God's thoughts are higher! I'm grateful that "There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand." Proverbs 19:21 delivers this GREAT news! Because, if I had it my way, and somehow we did magically get married (I LAUGHED as I typed that), assuming he stopped playing games long enough to actually get serious with me (he did eventually get I assume he got serious about someone, huh?!) I'd be worried about whether or not my husband was too drunk to drive home...or to find his way back to my bed! (That second part is just a guess! I haven't talked to this guy in years and I don't plan to find out. But...I'm just guessing at certain things!) I felt a bit "dissed" by some of his actions, initially, but I'm VERY grateful! Like...grateful BEYOND words! God knows ALL things! So, to Mr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _, thank you for straight up acknowledging that you were NOT the "one" for me! I SO appreciate it! And God, thank You for being God and for knowing all things! Proverbs 16:1 (in the New Living Translation) says "We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer." YES, Lord!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Mission Get Healthy!

So, I haven't done a post dedicated to getting healthier (and also losing weight) in a LONG time! But it doesn't mean I've aborted this mission! In fact, just today I applauded myself for making a wise food decision! I felt like I was craving an "all bad foods" lunch! The cafeteria in my building at work pretty much offers the same menu each week! I knew today would offer the option to get a reuben. I had envisioned a reuben and chips (or fries!), along with an orange soda. Well, one, I don't need the soda because it breaks me out! (My acne is still in "active" mode, even at the age of 32! Boo to that one! Boo, I say!) But, I also recognize that I don't need the added calories! So...instead of an "all bad" lunch, I think I made some wiser choices! I got the salmon (on which they always do a great job!), a vegetable medley (a bit different today: broccoli, carrots and chickpeas!! Yum) and some sweet potato cornbread. I chose water as a my drink (with some Crystsal Light to add flavor to the water!) I am proud of myself for my choice! Not only was the food delicious, but I also feel full without feeling the accompanying misery or shame! So...yay me for a healthier choice! Last night I went to Chick-Fil-A and only got the "Charbroiled and fruit" salad. I really wanted a #2, value-sized! But I refrained! I'm making wiser choices and I'm proud! Whoot to me! Here's to getting healthier (and a little skinnier!)

Friday, September 30, 2011

True Love

The mere fact that looking at baking supplies on Michaels' website is bringing me this much excitement should tell me that I REALLY need to just give my current job my two weeks notice and get started on this baking in like, well, two weeks! LOL! This is really exciting for me, as I prepare for the birthday parties of two of my closest friends! (They have the same birthday but are celebrating on two different days! Thankfully, because otherwise, I'd be run ragged! But for them, I'd do it!) I'm getting all kinds of decorating ideas (for one, I'm providing cupcakes and for the other, some of the food and the desserts) and I'm telling myself "please, please, please don't spend a million dollars when you get to Michael's! PLEASE don't!" We'll see what happens!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Mission Healthy

I haven't given up on my quest to get healthier and lose weight--I type this WHILE chewing fries from McDonald's! :0( --but I have stopped posting about it! The interesting thing is that NOW I feel like I'm losing weight! So, that's good news! I am supposed to be cleaning out my "junk room" this weekend! I "remembered" that I have my elliptical! I'm trying to decide if I want to sell it or ACTUALLY start using it again! Decisions, decisions! Oh, and that reminds me, even though there is only about a month left of summer, I really want to find a pool to join! That'll be good exercise and I'll have a lot of fun!

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Happy 6 months to me and my BC

Yes, it's a long title, but that's the subject of this post! I did my BC ("Big chop" for who may not know) six months ago! I no longer have any chemicals to "relax" or straighten my hair! I stopped getting perms about a year ago, I think?! But I got all the permed hair cut out in February. So, for a while there, I had about 4" of hair! It's been an interested six months to say the least, chock full of unsolicited opinions, offensive comments and rude looks, but I'm totally happy with my decision! (I did have a lapse of "I love it" for a minute!) My hair has grown in leaps and bounds and I'm already comfortable enough to have worn my bush--tamed by a headband! No, I didn't go full Angela Davis on 'em--to an interview! I'm proud that I'm doing my best, still, to accessorize and not look like a boy! I think I'm in a groove, now! My friend Ja'NeƩ has become my twist/braid-ologist! She's the bomb! Now, all I need to do is obtain more flowers, headbands, accessories, etc!

(I started this post a week ago! It's time that I actually, you know, post it!)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

A Part of Life

I was taking a look at this other blog of which I was a contributor. I realized I wrote a poem (back when my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. But it was inspired by both her and my maternal grandmother.) It's pretty good and I think I'd like to write again!
Here it is:
A Part of Life
People say that "death is a part of life,"
Like it's supposed to make you feel better,
As if it heals the hurt and dries the tears!
People say that "death is a part of life,"
Like it's supposed to be easier to let go,
As if somehow you'll sleep better at night!

Strangely, it usually does.

Knowing that "death is a part of life"
Makes me feel a little better.
It does, at least, ease the hurt and slow the tears.
Knowing that "death is a part of life"
Makes me more able to let go
And I do sleep a little better most nights.

So, "death is a part of life"!
BUT, what then, is the dying?
Is that also a part of life?
What can be said then?

To see the strong, the vibrant, the independent
Become the weak, the dull, the dependent.
To see a person full of life, love, kindness and humor
Become just about lifeless, mean, moody and witless.
This is the dying!
This is the part that people forget to speak about!
This is the process that I'm still trying to deal with.

"Death is a part of life" but what is the dying?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sometimes I'm scared...

...of EVERYTHING! Well, that's not true...I'm scared of being great! That seems so BIG to say...but it's true! I don't worry about being left out or being insignificant. I am in a constant quandary about doing something that will cause people to have to, or want to, look at me! So...I don't follow through with moneymaking or award-winning ideas. I hold back intelligent solutions to impossible problems. I shut my mouth when I should scream out loud. I know that I could be a great writer, actress, dancer and singer. I could work well as a (plus-size) model. Heck, I could lose weight and work as a regular model. I could solve mathematical problems and teach the world's children how to read and add. But...I get nervous about it! What's up with that?! This isn't my first time writing about this (I don't think) and I sometimes think "here I GO!" Then, I get scared again! What the heck?!
Oh well, I'll keep praying and keep trusting that, through GOD, I CAN do everything He created me to do and use all the gifts He gave me!
Stay tuned...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Happy birthday to me...10 days later

I started a post about my birthday...but I never finished it! Hmm...anyway, I'm 32 years old now! :0) Yay me! Time has sped by but I'm so blessed to have seen these years and I can't wait to see what God has for me as I'm now in my 33rd year of life!
I'd like to see, by this time next year, that I have moved along successfully in my baking (and tutoring) business(es), have a job that I LOVE, car and nice amount in my savings! These are all attainable goals and I'm actively working on all of them! Whoot!

Mission Get Healthy...still going!

So...I've been busy this summer it seems! YAY me! :0) I didn't post this past Friday because I was at the family reunion of my paternal grandmother. I must say that I knew going into the weekend that my eating would probably be "all kinds of whatever!" I mean, it was "cookout food in the South" so I knew I was pretty much doomed! BUT I didn't do too badly! My family offered pork and turkey "barbecue" and I chose the turkey option. (It was REALLY good, too!)I only ate baked chicken. I didn't eat any fried...but I did have a piece of fried fish. I made sure to get vegetables on my plate. Also, I really wanted some Cold stone ice cream, so I didn't have any of the desserts from the cookout! (It was TOUGH not to make a "desserts plate" like I used to do, but I was able to persevere! LOL!) When I got to Cold Stone, I REALLY wanted a "love it" size (or "medium" for those who have never been to Cold Stone Creamery) but I didn't. I got a "like it"--"small" and was proud of myself for the restraint. This past week wasn't as great as it should have been, but it wasn't as terrible as it could have been, either!
Oh well, I'm two days away from's to hoping I have SOMETHING good to report this week! :0)

Friday, July 01, 2011

Mission Get HEALTHY! (Week 5)

I skipped last week (was at a conference with my church) but I'm back this week with some good news! I have a "good decision of the day" two days in a row! The first one is that I finally went to a Zumba class last night! I have some friends who attend and I kept saying that I needed to go. Well, one friend lovingly "called me out" by telling me that she'd been hearing me say "girl, I need to go" for a month or more. So...I finally went! I'm glad that I did, even though a sister was TIRED after a while! But I already pre-paid for my next class! Also, this morning's "good decision of the day" was that I REALLY wanted breakfast from Chick-fil-a or McDonald's, but I chose to eat the yogurt with fruit and granola that I brought instead. Yay, me! I'm getting it together, piece by piece!!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Mission Get Healthy (Week 3)

Today, I don't have much to say. I STILL haven't gotten on the elliptical, sadly! Hopefully I'll get the gumption to do so this upcoming week! I haven't had any meat or poultry since Sunday--but that's been more force than choice. More on that another time. I did make dishes that included a lot of fresh vegetables and I've had plenty of fruit as well. I still have some asparagus that needs my attention. I don't really have a "good decision of the day" for today, but I do have something exciting to report! I wore a shirt today, to work, that I haven't worn since last summer. It fits looser than it did last summer! Whoo hoo!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Mission Get HEALTHY! (Week 2)

I missed my post on Friday, doing lots of running around, so I'll do it today!! I went to the grocery store on Friday and was very proud of myself! So, my "good decision of the day" was to buy a lot of fresh vegetables and fruits! I bought (hardly) any junk food and I think I can make it on a "less meat, more veggies" diet. My body is reacting very negatively to most meat these days anyway...and I don't even eat much, mostly poultry and fish. And eating out (fast food anyway) seems to be a thing of the past! Oh well, I look forward to all the different things I'll now try because of my mission to get healthy! Next up, I hope that the next post will be me saying "I finally got back on my elliptical"! Yes, I own one! No, I haven't been on it in years! :0( I'm ashamed! But I'll be back on soon! And I think I want to join somewhere so I can swim!

Friday, June 03, 2011

Mission Get HEALTHY!

So...I've decided, one and for all that it's REALLY time to get healthy! I do need to lose weight and I want to overall just be healthy! So, inspired by one of my nfew favorite bloggers (and southern friend, at least in my mind, Kimberly each week, I'm going to post something related to this new mission of mine! At first I was gonna call it "Project Get Healthy" but I need to make it my MISSION from here on out! Not only do I need to do this because I'm back up, on the wrong side of 250, I'm a worship-dancer and so it would make sense that I'm in shape! Plus, I would like to, if time allows, get back into modeling. My agent told me a while back that my goal was a "comfortable 14"...clearly I only heard the "comfortable" part! :0)

I think that this weekend, I'm going to see how many ways I can creatively cook vegetables! My mom and I have been talking about getting healthier and she was all excited about veggie lasagna! I also discovered that Safeway sells my favorite new vegetable, Brussel spouts, fresh! Whoo hoo! So hopefully I'll be making some wise food decisions! My body has kindly let me know, over the past few weeks, that the kind of eating that I did in college is no longer acceptable! So...I'm going to be changing the way I eat. Each week in my post, I'll plan to share a "good decision of the day".

Today's "good decision of the day": I chose to eat salmon, rice & squash for lunch instead of corned beef & fries or chip like I wanted!

Here's to getting healthy!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I am not my hair!

So...I finally did it! I've been thinking about cutting my hair and "going natural"--removing all the chemicals from my hair--for years! I said I'd do it at 30! Well, at half past 31, I finally did it! And you know what I've discovered?! It wasn't that deep! I mean, yes, I do have to figure out exactly what products work best for my hair texture and the look(s) I'll want to achieve--sidenote, EVERYONE has a suggestion! Wow! I didn't realize I'd get so many unsolicited comments about hair products! Whoo! I do need to figure out how much into the natural, um, "movement" for lack of a better term, I'm willing to go--I'm not getting locks! I do need to figure out how to maintain my hair--it's SO much drier than I ever realized. BUT it's not a spiritual journey. My life is a spiritual journey! I'm ever on a quest to be closer to God and to be just like Jesus. My haircut is not a reflection thereof! I promise! I do admit to feeling freer, but that's just, like freer to walk outside in the rain with no umbrella or get my hair wet in the shower! I do feel that, with a haircut akin to Arnold Drummond's, I must do whatever I can to ensure that people don't mistake me for a little boy! So my makeup, clothing and accessories have all been stepped up! And I'm excited to see how that continues! But, that's it! I am VERY excited about the haircut and I'm loving seeing my actual texture all over my head. But...that's it! Even in this, I am not my hair!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Winter cleaning's not spring, but I decided that it was time to start cleaning up! I began washing clothes (but that's such an undertaking for me that I'll be talking about that/doing that for weeks to come!) I gave away some of the clothes that I did clean. I washed all the dishes in my house. I swept most of the rooms and even the steps leading to my part of the house. (I live in a duplex-type situation. Working on making the entire house mine!) I took down pictures/decorations/curtains that my aunt left up. I even removed my months-old weave! ;0) I think the burst of energy to clean came from my inward cleaning of sorts! I made some decisions, came to some conclusions and I'm making some changes! One of them is already in effect! I started school last week. In December 2012, I'll have a master's degree! I'm giving myself until my birthday (day before the U.S.' Independence day, but I do accept well-wishes and love for 30 days afterward! I'm TOTALLY serious!) to no longer be employed by my current employer. It's time to make some changes...not just in my head, but out the real world, too!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Happy New Years Y'all!

Happy New Years, everyone! Yes, it I know it is actually "Happy New Year", no 's'. Only one new year approaches at a time. I usually say that to be funny! Just like I say "Happy Valentimes day" and stuff like that. Anyway, on a more serious note, it's 2011. This is the start of a new decade! I realized, a few days ago, that in this decade, I will turn 40! It put so many things into perspective for me! Last night, my pastor (Prophetess Judy Peart of Crown of Glory Ministries--shameless plug!) talked about time and how, basically, it's SHORT and that it's NOT promised to anyone so we need to get MOVING! I can't keep "prepping" to do what God created me to do. I've got to just do it! It's scary but it's just TIME! So, my "resolution" for this year is "do whatever God says to do exactly when He says it and to get CRACKING on the things He already told me to do!" It's a run-on sentence but it's my only goal for the year!

Happy 2011!