Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Real McCoy

(I started this forever ago! How about if I ACTUALLY post it!)
You know what, lately, I've been having lots of discussions that have caused me to realize that I have a new outlook on relationships! Well, more like a new way of thinking when it comes to how I'll enter my next relationship! What is this great, deep & wondrous revelation you ask? Well, simply that I've decided that I'm going to be ME! This revelation came from a number of different places: talking to one of my dance ministry sisters, a comment from my friend Anita, a blog posting from my fellow TRINITY sista and talking to my sister today! So, yeah, onto the revelation! For the next guy who I enter a relationship with, he's going to get the REAL DEAL! He's going to get the sarcastic, loves to eat, LOVES God AND secular music, say what I feel, size 16 with no plans to become a size 1, checks my email CONSTANTLY during the day and would rather text message than talk on my cell Tonyette ! So, Peaches--dance ministry sister--and I were talking and she asked me how long would it be before I let the real deal out with a guy. I was like, "what do you mean?" She said, "well. like how long before you pass gas around him?" My answer was basically that, honey, at this point it'll be WHEN I am flatulent! Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be GROSS nor am I saying that I won't put my best foot forward in the relationship, but I won't be fake! I just can't do it!! Then, I was talking with my friend Anita about the fact that I thought I was going to see this guy I was interested in seeing on a particular day. Well, my hair was cornrowed! She was like, "are you going to take it out and wear it crinkly?" I said, "no...I'm going to wear it like this, or perhaps put my wig on!"--I've posted about my "Sexy Girl" before! The wig is HOT! She was like, "guys like long hair!" I said, "well, sorry to hear that!" Again, don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to REPEL men or anything, but I see no point in being fake! I WEAR cornrows often...ESPECIALLY in the summer and I wear my wig often enough! Plus, I want to cut my hair and will probably do it SOON! It just seems like sometimes as women we got through all this rigamarole for the first 3 months of a relationship and then when we get comfortable, then we take off the masks & the guy thinks we've changed and he gets upset! However, the truth of the matter is, we've let out the REAL person!! So...to circumvent all that, I intend to just BE ME up front! I don't intend to "play dumb to make him feel good" or "let him win" or any of that other crap! I'm smart! And I LOVE to win!So, if I can't be ME and get a husband--because that's my goal, no need to beat around the bush by saying "BF" or "man"--then I am destined to be single!

6 comments:

Toya said...

Girl, I KNOW that's right!!!

Tonyette said...

I'm glad you feel me, Toya! I'm just in a place where I can't be anyone but ME!

Jarred said...

Good for you!! I'm glad you got this revelation. Now if only the remainder of the females out there would get it.......

Tonyette said...

Thanks, Jarred! Well...I'll do what I can to get the other single members of my gender to get on board! How is that? ;--)

Soulfull Diva said...

This is wonderful and to meet someone who loves you, the real you, you MUST do this. I never thought I was being fake in my relationship with my now husband, but he recently told me that he thought I was much more "together" when we first starteed dating. At first of course I was mad that he said that, but I realized that I was putting up more of a facade, IMO it was to keep myself from getting hurt, who shows their scars on the first date? Actually I did do that once and we dated for like a year and some change, but it ended bad because he couldn't handle WHO I WAS. And at the end of the day, that's what everyone needs someone who can handle who you are...STRAIGHT NO CHASER.

From the illustrious Carrie of SATC:
"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

Tonyette said...

LOVE the Carrie reference, Mama K!! And yeah, I'm just trying to prevent that whole "you've changed" speech!