Random Spewings

Mr. NOT right!

2011-11-21T08:49:00.001-05:00

This morning, I was randomly thinking about this guy I used to have a crush on. I guess that's the best way to put it. We "talked", I guess you could call it, if you HAD to call it something, for a lil while. This morning, specifically, I was thinking about how he told me, pretty much, "you are called by GOD and I ain't the one for that!" I used to say "if I were to build a guy, he would look like _ _ _ _ _". And while that statement IS true, I'm thankful that God's thoughts are higher! I'm grateful that "There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand." Proverbs 19:21 delivers this GREAT news! Because, if I had it my way, and somehow we did magically get married (I LAUGHED as I typed that), assuming he stopped playing games long enough to actually get serious with me (he did eventually get married...so I assume he got serious about someone, huh?!) I'd be worried about whether or not my husband was too drunk to drive home...or to find his way back to my bed! (That second part is just a guess! I haven't talked to this guy in years and I don't plan to find out. But...I'm just guessing at certain things!) I felt a bit "dissed" by some of his actions, initially, but I'm VERY grateful! Like...grateful BEYOND words! God knows ALL things! So, to Mr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _, thank you for straight up acknowledging that you were NOT the "one" for me! I SO appreciate it! And God, thank You for being God and for knowing all things! Proverbs 16:1 (in the New Living Translation) says "We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer." YES, Lord!

Mission Get Healthy!

2011-11-18T14:06:00.001-05:00

So, I haven't done a post dedicated to getting healthier (and also losing weight) in a LONG time! But it doesn't mean I've aborted this mission! In fact, just today I applauded myself for making a wise food decision! I felt like I was craving an "all bad foods" lunch! The cafeteria in my building at work pretty much offers the same menu each week! I knew today would offer the option to get a reuben. I had envisioned a reuben and chips (or fries!), along with an orange soda. Well, one, I don't need the soda because it breaks me out! (My acne is still in "active" mode, even at the age of 32! Boo to that one! Boo, I say!) But, I also recognize that I don't need the added calories! So...instead of an "all bad" lunch, I think I made some wiser choices! I got the salmon (on which they always do a great job!), a vegetable medley (a bit different today: broccoli, carrots and chickpeas!! Yum) and some sweet potato cornbread. I chose water as a my drink (with some Crystsal Light to add flavor to the water!) I am proud of myself for my choice! Not only was the food delicious, but I also feel full without feeling the accompanying misery or shame! So...yay me for a healthier choice! Last night I went to Chick-Fil-A and only got the "Charbroiled and fruit" salad. I really wanted a #2, value-sized! But I refrained! I'm making wiser choices and I'm proud! Whoot to me! Here's to getting healthier (and a little skinnier!)

True Love

2011-09-30T17:11:00.002-04:00

The mere fact that looking at baking supplies on Michaels' website is bringing me this much excitement should tell me that I REALLY need to just give my current job my two weeks notice and get started on this baking in like, well, two weeks! LOL! This is really exciting for me, as I prepare for the birthday parties of two of my closest friends! (They have the same birthday but are celebrating on two different days! Thankfully, because otherwise, I'd be run ragged! But for them, I'd do it!) I'm getting all kinds of decorating ideas (for one, I'm providing cupcakes and for the other, some of the food and the desserts) and I'm telling myself "please, please, please don't spend a million dollars when you get to Michael's! PLEASE don't!" We'll see what happens!

Mission Healthy

2011-08-12T13:25:00.002-04:00

I haven't given up on my quest to get healthier and lose weight--I type this WHILE chewing fries from McDonald's! :0( --but I have stopped posting about it! The interesting thing is that NOW I feel like I'm losing weight! So, that's good news! I am supposed to be cleaning out my "junk room" this weekend! I "remembered" that I have my elliptical! I'm trying to decide if I want to sell it or ACTUALLY start using it again! Decisions, decisions! Oh, and that reminds me, even though there is only about a month left of summer, I really want to find a pool to join! That'll be good exercise and I'll have a lot of fun!

Happy 6 months to me and my BC

2011-08-04T16:52:00.005-04:00

Yes, it's a long title, but that's the subject of this post! I did my BC ("Big chop" for who may not know) six months ago! I no longer have any chemicals to "relax" or straighten my hair! I stopped getting perms about a year ago, I think?! But I got all the permed hair cut out in February. So, for a while there, I had about 4" of hair! It's been an interested six months to say the least, chock full of unsolicited opinions, offensive comments and rude looks, but I'm totally happy with my decision! (I did have a lapse of "I love it" for a minute!) My hair has grown in leaps and bounds and I'm already comfortable enough to have worn my bush--tamed by a headband! No, I didn't go full Angela Davis on 'em--to an interview! I'm proud that I'm doing my best, still, to accessorize and not look like a boy! I think I'm in a groove, now! My friend Ja'Neé has become my twist/braid-ologist! She's the bomb! Now, all I need to do is obtain more flowers, headbands, accessories, etc!

(I started this post a week ago! It's time that I actually, you know, post it!)

A Part of Life

2011-07-21T17:02:00.001-04:00

I was taking a look at this other blog of which I was a contributor. I realized I wrote a poem (back when my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. But it was inspired by both her and my maternal grandmother.) It's pretty good and I think I'd like to write again!
Here it is:
A Part of Life
People say that "death is a part of life,"
Like it's supposed to make you feel better,
As if it heals the hurt and dries the tears!
People say that "death is a part of life,"
Like it's supposed to be easier to let go,
As if somehow you'll sleep better at night!

Strangely, it usually does.

Knowing that "death is a part of life"
Makes me feel a little better.
It does, at least, ease the hurt and slow the tears.
Knowing that "death is a part of life"
Makes me more able to let go
And I do sleep a little better most nights.

So, "death is a part of life"!
BUT, what then, is the dying?
Is that also a part of life?
What can be said then?

To see the strong, the vibrant, the independent
Become the weak, the dull, the dependent.
To see a person full of life, love, kindness and humor
Become just about lifeless, mean, moody and witless.
This is the dying!
This is the part that people forget to speak about!
This is the process that I'm still trying to deal with.

"Death is a part of life" but what is the dying?

Sometimes I'm scared...

2011-07-19T14:31:00.004-04:00

...of EVERYTHING! Well, that's not true...I'm scared of being great! That seems so BIG to say...but it's true! I don't worry about being left out or being insignificant. I am in a constant quandary about doing something that will cause people to have to, or want to, look at me! So...I don't follow through with moneymaking or award-winning ideas. I hold back intelligent solutions to impossible problems. I shut my mouth when I should scream out loud. I know that I could be a great writer, actress, dancer and singer. I could work well as a (plus-size) model. Heck, I could lose weight and work as a regular model. I could solve mathematical problems and teach the world's children how to read and add. But...I get nervous about it! What's up with that?! This isn't my first time writing about this (I don't think) and I sometimes think "here I GO!" Then, I get scared again! What the heck?!
Oh well, I'll keep praying and keep trusting that, through GOD, I CAN do everything He created me to do and use all the gifts He gave me!
Stay tuned...

Happy birthday to me...10 days later

2011-07-13T17:44:00.002-04:00

I started a post about my birthday...but I never finished it! Hmm...anyway, I'm 32 years old now! :0) Yay me! Time has sped by but I'm so blessed to have seen these years and I can't wait to see what God has for me as I'm now in my 33rd year of life!
I'd like to see, by this time next year, that I have moved along successfully in my baking (and tutoring) business(es), have a job that I LOVE, car and nice amount in my savings! These are all attainable goals and I'm actively working on all of them! Whoot!

Mission Get Healthy...still going!

2011-07-13T17:31:00.003-04:00

So...I've been busy this summer it seems! YAY me! :0) I didn't post this past Friday because I was at the family reunion of my paternal grandmother. I must say that I knew going into the weekend that my eating would probably be "all kinds of whatever!" I mean, it was "cookout food in the South" so I knew I was pretty much doomed! BUT I didn't do too badly! My family offered pork and turkey "barbecue" and I chose the turkey option. (It was REALLY good, too!)I only ate baked chicken. I didn't eat any fried...but I did have a piece of fried fish. I made sure to get vegetables on my plate. Also, I really wanted some Cold stone ice cream, so I didn't have any of the desserts from the cookout! (It was TOUGH not to make a "desserts plate" like I used to do, but I was able to persevere! LOL!) When I got to Cold Stone, I REALLY wanted a "love it" size (or "medium" for those who have never been to Cold Stone Creamery) but I didn't. I got a "like it"--"small" and was proud of myself for the restraint. This past week wasn't as great as it should have been, but it wasn't as terrible as it could have been, either!
Oh well, I'm two days away from Friday...here's to hoping I have SOMETHING good to report this week! :0)

Mission Get HEALTHY! (Week 5)

2011-07-01T10:24:00.001-04:00

I skipped last week (was at a conference with my church) but I'm back this week with some good news! I have a "good decision of the day" two days in a row! The first one is that I finally went to a Zumba class last night! I have some friends who attend and I kept saying that I needed to go. Well, one friend lovingly "called me out" by telling me that she'd been hearing me say "girl, I need to go" for a month or more. So...I finally went! I'm glad that I did, even though a sister was TIRED after a while! But I already pre-paid for my next class! Also, this morning's "good decision of the day" was that I REALLY wanted breakfast from Chick-fil-a or McDonald's, but I chose to eat the yogurt with fruit and granola that I brought instead. Yay, me! I'm getting it together, piece by piece!!

Mission Get Healthy (Week 3)

2011-06-18T00:25:00.004-04:00

Today, I don't have much to say. I STILL haven't gotten on the elliptical, sadly! Hopefully I'll get the gumption to do so this upcoming week! I haven't had any meat or poultry since Sunday--but that's been more force than choice. More on that another time. I did make dishes that included a lot of fresh vegetables and I've had plenty of fruit as well. I still have some asparagus that needs my attention. I don't really have a "good decision of the day" for today, but I do have something exciting to report! I wore a shirt today, to work, that I haven't worn since last summer. It fits looser than it did last summer! Whoo hoo!

Mission Get HEALTHY! (Week 2)

2011-06-13T13:49:00.002-04:00

I missed my post on Friday, doing lots of running around, so I'll do it today!! I went to the grocery store on Friday and was very proud of myself! So, my "good decision of the day" was to buy a lot of fresh vegetables and fruits! I bought (hardly) any junk food and I think I can make it on a "less meat, more veggies" diet. My body is reacting very negatively to most meat these days anyway...and I don't even eat much, mostly poultry and fish. And eating out (fast food anyway) seems to be a thing of the past! Oh well, I look forward to all the different things I'll now try because of my mission to get healthy! Next up, I hope that the next post will be me saying "I finally got back on my elliptical"! Yes, I own one! No, I haven't been on it in years! :0( I'm ashamed! But I'll be back on soon! And I think I want to join somewhere so I can swim!

Mission Get HEALTHY!

2011-06-03T12:03:00.003-04:00

So...I've decided, one and for all that it's REALLY time to get healthy! I do need to lose weight and I want to overall just be healthy! So, inspired by one of my nfew favorite bloggers (and southern friend, at least in my mind, Kimberly each week, I'm going to post something related to this new mission of mine! At first I was gonna call it "Project Get Healthy" but I need to make it my MISSION from here on out! Not only do I need to do this because I'm back up, on the wrong side of 250, I'm a worship-dancer and so it would make sense that I'm in shape! Plus, I would like to, if time allows, get back into modeling. My agent told me a while back that my goal was a "comfortable 14"...clearly I only heard the "comfortable" part! :0)

I think that this weekend, I'm going to see how many ways I can creatively cook vegetables! My mom and I have been talking about getting healthier and she was all excited about veggie lasagna! I also discovered that Safeway sells my favorite new vegetable, Brussel spouts, fresh! Whoo hoo! So hopefully I'll be making some wise food decisions! My body has kindly let me know, over the past few weeks, that the kind of eating that I did in college is no longer acceptable! So...I'm going to be changing the way I eat. Each week in my post, I'll plan to share a "good decision of the day".

Today's "good decision of the day": I chose to eat salmon, rice & squash for lunch instead of corned beef & fries or chip like I wanted!

Here's to getting healthy!

I am not my hair!

2011-03-30T16:20:00.002-04:00

So...I finally did it! I've been thinking about cutting my hair and "going natural"--removing all the chemicals from my hair--for years! I said I'd do it at 30! Well, at half past 31, I finally did it! And you know what I've discovered?! It wasn't that deep! I mean, yes, I do have to figure out exactly what products work best for my hair texture and the look(s) I'll want to achieve--sidenote, EVERYONE has a suggestion! Wow! I didn't realize I'd get so many unsolicited comments about hair products! Whoo! I do need to figure out how much into the natural, um, "movement" for lack of a better term, I'm willing to go--I'm not getting locks! I do need to figure out how to maintain my hair--it's SO much drier than I ever realized. BUT it's not a spiritual journey. My life is a spiritual journey! I'm ever on a quest to be closer to God and to be just like Jesus. My haircut is not a reflection thereof! I promise! I do admit to feeling freer, but that's just, like freer to walk outside in the rain with no umbrella or get my hair wet in the shower! I do feel that, with a haircut akin to Arnold Drummond's, I must do whatever I can to ensure that people don't mistake me for a little boy! So my makeup, clothing and accessories have all been stepped up! And I'm excited to see how that continues! But, that's it! I am VERY excited about the haircut and I'm loving seeing my actual texture all over my head. But...that's it! Even in this, I am not my hair!

Winter cleaning

2011-01-18T15:49:00.004-05:00

So...it's not spring, but I decided that it was time to start cleaning up! I began washing clothes (but that's such an undertaking for me that I'll be talking about that/doing that for weeks to come!) I gave away some of the clothes that I did clean. I washed all the dishes in my house. I swept most of the rooms and even the steps leading to my part of the house. (I live in a duplex-type situation. Working on making the entire house mine!) I took down pictures/decorations/curtains that my aunt left up. I even removed my months-old weave! ;0) I think the burst of energy to clean came from my inward cleaning of sorts! I made some decisions, came to some conclusions and I'm making some changes! One of them is already in effect! I started school last week. In December 2012, I'll have a master's degree! I'm giving myself until my birthday (day before the U.S.' Independence day, but I do accept well-wishes and love for 30 days afterward! I'm TOTALLY serious!) to no longer be employed by my current employer. It's time to make some changes...not just in my head, but out here...in the real world, too!

Happy New Years Y'all!

2011-01-01T11:23:00.002-05:00

Happy New Years, everyone! Yes, it I know it is actually "Happy New Year", no 's'. Only one new year approaches at a time. I usually say that to be funny! Just like I say "Happy Valentimes day" and stuff like that. Anyway, on a more serious note, it's 2011. This is the start of a new decade! I realized, a few days ago, that in this decade, I will turn 40! It put so many things into perspective for me! Last night, my pastor (Prophetess Judy Peart of Crown of Glory Ministries--shameless plug!) talked about time and how, basically, it's SHORT and that it's NOT promised to anyone so we need to get MOVING! I can't keep "prepping" to do what God created me to do. I've got to just do it! It's scary but it's just TIME! So, my "resolution" for this year is "do whatever God says to do exactly when He says it and to get CRACKING on the things He already told me to do!" It's a run-on sentence but it's my only goal for the year!

Happy 2011!

I wanna be like Oprah...

2010-11-22T16:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Lord,
When I "grow up" I wanna be like Oprah! I want people to hear "Tonyette" and a certain sound, or see me give a certain look or just see me coming and be so excited that they can't stand themselves because they know I'm gonna be giving "big". That's my prayer for today!

In Jesus' mighty name,
Amen!

(See...I just saw the introduction to the final "Oprah's Favorite Things" episode. People in the audience saw her red dress and heard those bells and knew what it meant. There was hugging, crying, clapping, "shouting" and all kinds of things! It must be nice to be able to give that "big"!)

Something new...

2010-09-23T16:31:00.002-04:00

So, yeah, I'm at the point, AGAIN, where I'm ready for something new!! I have started to move my feet on a few things, though, thank God...so I'm not just idly watching life go by (as much) anymore!! I have started the Bible study for teen girls and young women that I've been talking about for years now! I've got a website and business cards dedicated to my baking business! I'm starting to travel more again! So...things are slowly but surely getting there!! Ooh, my living room furniture will be in tomorrow! That's BIG NEWS! Once I get that all settled, it'll be time to start looking for some DIY projects! Oh and it's fall now, too, so that means deciding on my wardrobe focuses for the next few months! So...there are some new things coming! I'm looking forward to any bit of newness I can grab onto!

What are you looking forward to?!

Viva Las Vegas...again

2010-09-08T23:35:00.002-04:00

I just got back from Las Vegas, NV and I must say...this was probably my very best vacation ever! I honestly cried when it was time to leave--although I'm sure a few "life ain't been no crystal stair" tears managed to slip in there! We are already throwing around dates for the next trip!! I'm seriously gonna think long and hard about moving there (again!) Did you know that there's no state tax in Nevada?!

DIY? !

2010-08-13T14:06:00.004-04:00

I've decided that I am going to start some D.I.Y. projects. I think my recent move has sparked this interest. I'm very excited!! I'd like to either paint or stain a little table for my bedroom. I'd also like to see if I can make some pillows for both my bed and my (currently NOT purchased) love seat. I want to see if I can decorate my house myself. I think I can; I think I can!

I'm excited! I'll try to post progress! Whoo hoo!

Dancing and/as ministry

2010-07-16T17:23:00.003-04:00

This particular post was inspired by my awesome, inspiring, beautiful friend Toya! She has a posting on her blog and I wanted to write, like, a 500-word essay but that's her blog, not mine...so I had to try to keep my comments "short"! Her post got me thinking about being a liturgical dancer, what "ministry" really means and my place in the world! This post may just be a "brain dump" so please follow along as best you can! :-)

Well, I should probably start with this: I have been a liturgical dancer for, I think, 8 years now. It all started at my former church when the director of the dance ministry asked if I wanted to join the group! At the time, it was comprised of three formally trained dancers who were svelte and, well, seemed like "dancers". I was, at the time, 250 pounds and, at 22, hadn't danced with any kind of group or "formally" since about 3rd grade. The funny thing, I'd wanted to join them for a few months by the time she asked. But I felt silly for wanting to join. I mean, how would I look in the leotards and skirts (at the time, that's what they wore) with all the "extra-ness"?? How would my hands, feet, arms & legs fare compared with their trained limbs?! But when I heard music or thought about expressing myself to God, I wanted to do it through dance! So...I asked her if she was sure?! She assured me that she seriously wanted me to join because she said she was looking for worshipers and that she'd teach the dancing part. So, I told her "yes" because I had been interested anyway! Shaking in my boots and unsure of how it'd be received, I joined the ministry! Long story short, it's one of the very best decisions I've ever made in my entire life! Not only do I believe that God gets the glory from my dancing but it also enables me to inspire people who may not have seen themselves as "dancers" before seeing me. My weight has moved up and down the scale (actually right now, I think I'm back at about 250...for those who have never had the pleasure of seeing me in person, ;-), I stand at 5'6") and there have been plus size or full-figured women who say to me "I am considering dancing now that I've seen you" or "I love to see you dance! You represent us". As much as I love the fact that God is pleased by my dancing (and the consecrated lifestyle that I believe should be lived by a liturgical dancer!), I am proud to be an inspiration to my plus size sisters and hopefully others who previously thought "there's no way I can dance"!! I also like the fact that while dancing, I get to be vulnerable in a way that I am not in my everyday life, save for a few select people! I had to learn to be open and be transparent--and for someone who doesn't like people looking at her, this proved VERY interesting for the first couple of, well, years! Right now, it'd be easier to get up and dance a selection than talk for 5 straight minutes about myself. (Even though, I'm at a place where I could do that, too, if pressed!)

There are people & churches who don't value/agree with the idea of dance as a ministry, but I try my best to advocate and change minds as much as possible. What is "ministry"? I would assume that if you asked the average person what the word means, he or she would say some variation of "service in/for/during/at a church"...and yes, this is partly true. One of the definitions (for the Hebrew word that means "ministry") IS "service in the tabernacle"...but that's only a part of it. But that same word, "ministry," also means to serve food and/or drink, like waiting on tables! The very same word means to care for the poor and to give them money. What's my point? That we, as a whole (church) world, have the idea of ministering/ministry slightly skewed or should I say we only have a piece of the puzzle! Ministry should NOT only happen inside our local churches!! Who, then, is helping the poor (in finances) and poor in mind/body/spirit? What changes are being made in our world if we are all simply ministering to one another inside the four walls?! People say that 'dance is universal' and things like that! Having been a part of dance ministries, I can say that it truly is. I've been able to "reach" people, and "be reached" by those whose language I don't speak, people with whom I have nothing (but dance and/or loving God) in common and with folks I wouldn't otherwise meet! I've effectively been ministered to, and I think effectively ministered to others, through dance on countless occasions!

Lastly I think that it's vital that we all get to a place where we realize that God created us ALL to do SOMETHING! Some of us may become famous or known worldwide as the first Black president who lets little children know that dreams can become reality or as the guy who created a computer corporation and became a billionaire who gives away more money than most people will ever earn in their lifetime. However, there are others of us will touch lives in a much quieter way, such as becoming a professional belly-dancer who inspires women to get up and dance and love themselves while doing it...or by being the best mother to her children who inspires & encourages them to become someone great or by being the best husband to his wife and therefore sets an example for other men!

My very long-winded point is that ministry is SO much more (and at the same time, so much LESS) than what people would have us to believe! So, dance, sing, serve food at a soup kitchen, go read books to a child at a library! Most importantly, just spread God's love and lift up Jesus' name!

Changes

2010-07-16T17:09:00.003-04:00

Life changes...a lot, sometimes rapidly! It sucks so bad sometimes! God is good and I'm strong, but still, man... I feel like Monica sings, "whatever don't kill you makes you stronger, well I must be the world's strongest woman"!! Monica, girl, I hear that!! The first time I heard that song, I said "I KNOW that's right!" The word says (1 Cor. 10:13) that God will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able...and I feel like "God must trust me tons and tons!" But again, He's good and I'm strong! So there's that!
So...we'll see what prayer, faith and time will bring me as I continue to wait on God and His promises! I have no choice but to wait anyway, right?

Singing/Even Me

2010-07-16T17:06:00.002-04:00

I haven't written in a few months so I think today I'll post a few things!
First of all, I realized that I really like to sing! Certain songs just make me wanna belt out the lyrics at the top of my lungs! Right now, I have "Even Me" by Crystal Aiken on repeat. I want to get up and sing as loud as I possibly can and probably cry and scream afterward! But, because of where I am, it's not feasible! :-(
Oh well! I'll lip-sync extra hard, then!

Missed Connections...

2010-05-13T16:33:00.001-04:00

You KNOW you are bored as ALL HECK when you start reading the "Missed Connections" posted on Craigslist for fun! Sheesh, Tonyette...get a life! (There's nothing wedding-related to do/think about right now and I'm trying to avoid work at all costs! None of my friends seem to be in an emailing mood and the Boo hasn't responded to my most recent text, so he must be napping!)

The OFFICIAL countdown begins today!

2010-04-28T13:36:00.002-04:00

So...today I have 100 days left before I get married! I'm PRETTY PUMPED about that!! Whoo hoo! One of my co-workers suggested that I blog about life after getting married. I think I may do that! Thanks for the idea, Mikey! ;-)

Whoo hoo! Let the countdown BEGIN!!

Fianced!!!

2010-02-26T14:19:00.001-05:00

It's official, I AM ENGAGED!!! Whoo hoo hoo!! As of February 8, 2010, I am an engaged woman! The Boo proposed--amidst all the snow!! It was romantic and perfectly us!! So...I'll forever have dates for my birthday and folks can already guess who my +1 is--unless it's a ladies night out or something! I'm so excited!! I had to share!!

Groundhog's Day

2010-02-02T15:41:00.003-05:00

So...today is Groundhog's day! Two questions: 1) how do we KNOW if the groundhog saw his shadow? I mean...is it actually that some PERSON sees the groundhog's shadow? 2) Whether or not Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, isn't spring 6 weeks away from February 2 ANYWAY?

Just wondering!

Happy New Year!!

2010-01-15T13:10:00.001-05:00

So, it's been a few months since I last posted! That was "way" back in 2009!! Happy New Year to everyone! I'm expecting BIG things this year! I'm doing my part to make it a MUCH BETTER year than the last few (most notably, 2009!). I see people changing all around me, for the better, and it's very exciting! I'm going to (once again) try to post more in this year! I'm also going to try to NOT be a pack rat! I've noticed that, although I'm not quite at "hoarder" status, I keep a LOT of useless \stuff! What is UP wit that? Even email! I need to do better!

Here's to 2010!!

A guilty pleasure

2009-11-19T16:38:00.001-05:00

I should actually be ASHAMED to put this out on the Internet, but I have the most shameful little guilty pleasure. I have "fallen in love" (said in quotes, just in case The Boo reads this and thinks I'm actually serious!) with Zac Efron! LOL! Yes, the lil guy from HSM. I have watched "17 Again" far too many times! I hang my head in shame (as I resist the urge to watch the movie yet again!)

All grown up!

2009-10-14T11:35:00.002-04:00

Today I feel like a "real adult"!
I got dressed for work, made my lunch--which included NOT a juice box, but a Crystal Light single pack to add to my water!, grabbed my purse and work bag , put on my comfortable shoes, and headed out the door! Before I headed to class (I'm in training for work), I went and grabbed a hot chocolate with creamer--what?! I still don't like coffee like that!
I even said out loud "Work bag?! Wow!". I'm 30 and that's crazy to me!

That's it!

All the newness!!

2009-08-18T10:46:00.002-04:00

So...it's been a few months since I've written anything!
There is so much newness in my life that it's a little crazy!! I attend a new church--have been for about 6 or so months! I think I already posted about that! I am now THIRTY!! WHOO HOO !! I have a new boyfriend!! (Well, he's an old friend and he's not so "new" anymore, but...for the purposes of this posting, he is!) WHOO HOO HOO! I'm about to have a new position at work--hopefully!! Life is good...despite IT ALL! I'm thankful to God that He has sustained me in the midst of various maddening situations!

I'm sure that I'll have plenty to post about in the upcoming days, weeks and months!!
Stay tuned!!

The Devil Wears Prada

2009-06-05T13:47:00.002-04:00

I promise that I've seen the movie about 50 times--I own the DVD, so it's not too ridiculous a notion that I've seen it that many times!
I love the movie--and the book, too, actually! The movie is part of the reason that I'm "into" fashion now! I snickered as I wrote "into" because I'm not into it like that. I'm more of an undercover fashion lover. I'm on the fashion down low! LOL! Anyway, I love Meryl Streep's look in the movie. She was HOT the entire time! My favorite outfit is when she's wearing the black pantsuit with the white shirt and red belt & necklace. Hmm...summer is approaching. I need to figure out what my "summer look" will be!

What's up all?

2009-04-16T14:09:00.003-04:00

So, I haven't blogged in a minute!! I don't think there is anything too new going on with me! I'm still on the countdown to my 30th birthday!! Yippee!! I can't wait to celebrate!! Also, in 2 years, I've lost almost 45lbs. Wow...that's unbelievable! It seems like I talk about weight loss a lot now...especially considering I wasn't interested in it at all! But I'm proud!! What else? I'll probably be going back to school in the near future...to teach special ed! And I still want to finish my culinary arts degree...so I've got some school in my future! Um, yay?! I need to get back on my modeling grind! I had lost my mojo for a minute, but it's back!! So...with spring here and summer not too far behind, I'm going to actively be looking for some opportunities! I have realized that I don't to hide my gifts and/or talents anymore!! So...I'm going to be very busy--as usual--in the next few, well, rest of my life!! :0)

PS That reminds me...I need a vacation!! Vegas, anyone?!

Nothing new

2009-02-10T16:53:00.002-05:00

So...it's February 10, 2009! Wow...where did the time go? I have 143 days left until the big 3-0! I'm pretty excited about it, actually! Everything I say or do now is usually prefaced by, "I'm almost 30..." or, "I'll be 30...". I don't have anything ultra exciting to say or share but it had just been a while since I'd blogged!
I'm still loving living alone. I'm still shedding pounds and proud of it! I'm still modeling...but I need to get back in front of the camera or something! I had an audition on Sunday and it was interesting! I'm trying to get a promotion at work and I believe God's time for me to have one, so I'm excited about that!! Um...that's pretty much it!! Until next time I feel like rambling about nothing...

A CHANGE is HERE!!!

2008-11-05T14:48:00.001-05:00

Today is November 5, 2008. As of almost 12 hours ago (I started this at 10:55am)...the 44th President of the United States of America will be former Senator Barack Obama!! Yesterday--since it was a HISTORIC moment, I want to be able to re-tell as much of it as I can--I wore a beige button down shirt and denim capris with my beige "Eskimo" boots and a black Old Navy long sleeve jacket to pick up my mother. She and I went to vote together. She had on her beige and black jacket, with black pants and white tennis shoes (sneakers for those of you who prefer that word!)

My mom was carrying a little black umbrella! I picked her up on my lunch break from work and we drove the two minute drive fron her house to the JCC on Park Heights Avenue to vote together! I was so excited that morning that I had already cried when my friend Aly texted me and said she'd voted, just after 7am. I was proud that my mom chose to go vote with me. She told me that she hadn't voted in years! She was determined yesterday, however, to make her voice heard and we went together!! I could tell she was a bit nervous because everything was so new. The last time she'd voted, you had to use paper and pencil! While we waited in the very SHORT line--our polling place has three precincts in one room but our precinct had the shortest line! Thank God for that...I WAS on lunch!--we both received our "I voted" stickers! We were proud! When we were done voting, we both kept smiling a wide "can't wipe it away" grin! I dropped her off and came back to work proud that my voice...and my mom's voice... HAD been heard! I had been praying for Senator Obama, his family and friends and even his campaign employees! I knew that this time, our country would get it RIGHT!! I literally had no doubt that he would become our very next president!!

In fact, I wasn't even keeping up with the numbers originally because I had no worries! When I got in the house, I was watching "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?". My mother called me at 11pm...and I knew what that meant! It meant that a CHANGE WAS HERE!! I answered and she said "oh my goodness! He won!" I could hear her smiling her beautiful smile through the phone! I know her "I'm so excited that I don't know whether to laugh or cry" tone and she definitely had that tone going on when she called me!! I remember thinking "he'll make a wonderful speech" but then, apparently, the peace must have really taken over! I fell asleep soon after and didn't wake up until 3am! By then, I saw that I'd had 6 text messages! I turned to one of the channels that I knew would tell me the GOOD NEWS and saw it...saw that the next President will be Barack Obama! The tears immediately started spilling from my eyes!! Lord have mercy!! A change IS here!! The excitement for me is two-fold! I am excited as a Black woman in this country! I definitely thought I'd be older than 29 when I saw the first non-White president elected! But I'm also excited because I know this is indicative of a spiritual shift that God has ordained for this time!! Never before this moment has my anticipation for great things been so paramount!! I don't know what will happen next!! But I'm thrilled about the future!

Changes/What's Next...

2008-10-09T17:41:00.001-04:00

I haven't blogged in a little while, so I figured now is a fine time, since it seems like I'm the only person on my entire FLOOR right now!!

Where to start...let's see...this year is 2008, a year that my pastor/church declared as the "Year of Promotion"! I think so many people got it WRONG and figured "promotion" = "more money" but it means, at least to me, so much more than that!! This year, I have accomplished a LOT and I think that I have been promoted!! To start the year off, I became a model! Yeah! (Shameless PLUG for Signature Ink Modeling Company!!) In the last 9 months, in addition to that, I have lost almost 20 lbs and about the same in inches, moved into my own apartment, enrolled in a mentoring program for those in dance ministry and gotten increased responsibilities on my job!! I have become more confident in who I am, even less worried about who doesn't like it and I'm happier than I've been in a LONG time! My joy HAS BEEN restored! A lot has changed around (and to) me recently, but I'm adjusting to it wonderfully, if I say so myself! I know that more change is on the way and I'm actually really excited about all of it!! God has been SO good this year that even in the moments that didn't feel like promotion, I didn't doubt Him! (Ok...not as MUCH as I used to...so even that is growth!!)

So, since it's only October...I anticipate even more exciting things coming my (and my family and friends') way before this year is over!! Over the next few weeks into the next month, I've got three fashion shows coming up! (Let me know if you want to attend any!! ESPECIALLY the VIth Sense: Fashion! Signature Ink's 6th anniversary show! IT WILL be hot! DON'T MISS IT!) I am going to be volunteering again for the Maryland Race for the Cure (to aid in the research for a cure for breast cancer!). I will be taking a class at work that will give me more credentials and I'm just excited!

Boot Camp Countdown

2008-08-15T17:17:00.001-04:00

So...I've been in a 12-week weight loss boot camp (shamless plug: Reinvent U Boot Camp) and it's been about 9 or so weeks! I'm on a countdown until it's over...no, not because it's been so hard that I'm ready to quit--although, more about that later--but more because I am anxious to see what habits I have formed and what I'll take away from it! One of my main reasons for finally deciding to do the boot camp is so that I'll have healthy habits with regards to exercise and diet to follow! Now, first of all, I wasn't even planning to do the boot camp until my agent (HA! I still love saying "my agent") suggested that I do it. See, I love being full-figured. I love the shape of my body and I feel like it's "me". Who would Tonyette "be" if I were 160 lbs?! Well, the boot camp has been going very well for me, although there WERE some tough times, which surprised me. I would watch The Biggest Loser and wonder why people were crying when it came to losing weight. My thinking was "lose it or don't" but now, going through something like this, I can understand the tears! When you wanna push yourself, feel like you can't, and then someone comes along to help you out and you do whatever the task is! I have asked myself "is it worth all this?". I have had a range of emotions...even when getting compliments! People say things like "you look good" because there is a noticeable difference. I say "thank you" but I think things like "please, I looked good 30 pounds ago!" (Sidebar: I haven't lost that much weight from the boot camp alone...I had already begun to make some changes! I've lost about 30 pounds since last year!) Which makes me get upset and go "so, what, 'looking good' is equated with how thin you are?" Which, in turn, makes me not want to accept the compliment! But, I do accept the compliment because, you know what, I do look good!! And I'm not like "betraying" full-figured women everywhere by losing some pounds! (And trust me, as I quickly learned...even if I were to lose 50 more pounds...in our society...I'd still be full-figured!) So...this is my official "countdown till Boot Camp's end"...21 days and counting!!

7 years...

2008-07-31T13:36:00.002-04:00

and counting! So, yesterday was the 7-year anniversary of my starting to work for the Social Security Administration! Yay to me!! I can't believe it's been that long already...which means I've been out of college for 7 years, too!! (That thought made me weep, just a little bit!) It seems like yesterday when I was nervous about my mom, stepdad and brother leaving me on the 2nd floor of Plaza Hall (at UMES) wondering what to eat for dinner that first night. Now, 11 years have passed and here I am sitting and wondering where did the time go! I'm pretty proud to say, in this day and age, that I've been at my job for 7 years. So many people I know that are around my age are on their 6th job. (No diss...we all must find ourselves!!) Though, at SSA, seven years is baby stuff. Some of my co-workers have been here for 30 years or more. It still amazes me that my team leader started his career here when my mother was in her teens! But hey, it's a great employer...you get all kinds of leave options and holidays and pretty much can't get fired!! So...here's to SSA and me...a beautiful relationship (until I get my own business! Then I'm OUT!)

Tagged

2008-06-18T17:20:00.005-04:00

My friend Toya (The Life of a Ladybug) tagged me (weeks ago...I'm so terrible!) Here are the questions and my answers! I am always terrible about tagging people, so I won't this time! (hope it's ok that I cheated!)

1)What was I doing 10 years ago?
Around this time 10 years ago, I was just finishing up my first year of college at UMES and feeling pretty grown up...but was sad at the same time because I could NOT find a job! Boo!

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today?
1) Go talk to one of my lil sisters

2) Get on the elliptical!

3) Try to decide what I wanna do for my birthday (in 15 days! YAY!)

4) Wash a load of clothes

5) Read some Word!

3. Snacks I enjoy (I love snacks so I'll try to keep this list small!):
1) Cheez-its

2) peanut butter & crackers

3) M & Ms

4. Places I’ve lived:
various places in the B-more metro area...and while in school, Princess Anne, MD

5. Things I’d do if I were a billionaire:
(I just went back and read over this and realized that I answered this as if I somehow became a billionaire suddenly! LOL!) Wow, a BILLIONAIRE? Ok...gotta start off the same way, T! Pay my tithes (and admittedly, the ones I owe back, too!). Give a huge offering! (STCF ALSO needs a new building, like the day before yesterday!) Then, I'd pay off all my bills. Do the same for my mom's bills. Buy my parents (all of 'em!) their dream homes. Buy myself a house and a truck. I'd keep my own car but, since it would be paid off, I'd make a few changes to it! I'd give each of my siblings and their spouses like, maybe $10 million each. Let them decide what they wanna do with it! I'd get one big purchase for all my aunts, uncles and cousins and close friends. I'd buy some praise garments for all the members of my dance ministry! (Lord knows we need some new garments!) I'd open my bakery as well as my dessert restaurant but hire enough people to work ONLY when I want! I'd open a center for young girls that would educate and empower them in a variety of areas! I would either set up a scholarship fund...or just find a few kids that wanna go to school but can't afford it (and maybe one or two "return to school" adults) and pay for it! After all that...because hey, we are talking a BILLION dollars, I'd buy myself a new wardrobe with new shoes, accessories and makeup to complete it!

6. People I want to know more about:
I'm not sure just yet...perhaps that why I didn't tag anybody! In general, if I wanna know about someone (celebs and whatever) I just Google 'em! LOL!

Are Christians crazy?

2008-05-23T14:26:00.002-04:00

Now...before anyone tries to get fiesty, I am NOT posing this as a "let's discuss the validity of the statement" type thing!! I just called the post by this title because I figured it would be a good attention-grabber. It should probably say "is this why people think Christians are crazy?". I had a thought similar to that this afternoon when I was telling a friend (shout-outs to Ty!!) about how I found some very cute shoes for a ridiculously low price!! See, I am going to be in a fashion show on Sunday. (Shameless plug: "A Different World" featuring Sunshine Models on Wheels AND Signature Ink's newest models--that includes me!!) I had to find some runway shoes (what I have is cute, but...) and a few items of clothing. Well, I hate to shop so this morning during my morning prayer, I asked God to lead me to exactly where I need to go for the shoes and clothes!! This is part one of the "are Christians crazy?" Then, this afternoon, on my lunch break, I felt the need to go to Shoe City on Woodlawn Drive. (It's right near my job!) I've only been in there one time before because I don't really shop in Shoe City. I said to myself, "Well, let me just go real quick"! Well, when I drove up, I saw a sign that they are going to have outlet prices from now on! Wow! Ok, so I was thinking, "this may be good!" Well, to make the story as short as possible, I got three pairs of shoes for $14.21! I told my friend and she said "that's a tithing special!" And then I told her that I had listened to the Holy Spirit about going in there. Then I said, "and I'm waiting to hear where I should go for the soldier scene". This is part two of the "are Christians crazy?". As soon as I typed the email, I thought to myself, "that's a little crazy! If I were anyone else, and especially someone who wasn't a Christian, I'd think that was nuts!" I mean, the idea of asking God about shopping?! Now, I realize I never write any posts that would really even indicate that I know Jesus, but the reality is that I am in, what I consider to me, close relationship with Him. I realize it DOES seem crazy to live the Christian life sometimes...to be dependent on God for everything, from the "big" stuff down to the "little" things like where to shop, or even sometimes, where to park, but that's what I'm starting to do more and more. That's the kind of life I want to lead!! Some people would say that God isn't concerned with that kind of thing..."where should I go to the market? What job should I take?" but the reality is, God wants to talk to us about everything. So, I'm learning to talk to Him more...and to listen more. And just for the record, NO, I don't think Christians are crazy! We just lead a different kinda life! (Or, at least, we SHOULD!)

Six Quirky Facts about me

2008-05-09T10:54:00.005-04:00

So, I have been tagged by my friend Toya (Life of a Ladybug--check her out!) and it took me a while (basically, to narrow it DOWN to six! I think I'm pretty quirky!)

1. I have pretty good command of my toes/feet! If something drops on the floor and I can't reach...I'll pick it up with one of my feet!

2. (I've mentioned this one before) I talk to myself...a lot. Conversations, notes to self or just whatever! I do it everywhere, too! At the market, walking in to work, wherever. Should I be worried about this? I don't think so!

3. Although I love to cook and bake, I'm too scared to open those cans that biscuits and cinnamon rolls come in. I hate the "pop" sound they make! I ask my mother or someone else around to open it. My mom asked, "what will you do when you get married?" I said, "Ask my husband! I'll cook dinner...his one job will be to OPEN the biscuits!"

4. In my cubicle at work, I don't have any personal items. I don't have any pictures or cute little sayings, posters or calendars. You'd come into my cube and wonder if it's my first, or perhaps last, day!

5. I may have a touch of OCD. My friend Tyesha was the first to point this out. I like to wash my hands, but when I cook, it's almost obsessive! Also, I must always be "balanced" whenever I do things! For example, if I try a shoe on my left foot, I feel like I "must" try on a right shoe, too! Otherwise, I feel "off". I just realized, even when I wear jewelry, if I have something on one wrist/hand/arm, I have to have something on the other one, too. It's very rare to see me with a ring and bracelet on one hand/wrist and nothing on the other!

6. One of my favorite "chores"--I don't know what else to call it--is ironing! People who know me very closely know that; it's something I really love and am good at! LOL! I volunteer to iron people's things, especially if I think they can't do a good job themselves!

I'm a model!!

2008-02-21T15:04:00.003-05:00

Well, sorta! Well, I'm more like a "model in training!" No, seriously, I haven't yet signed on with the agency, but I'm taking classes to prepare me to be signed with Signature Ink Modeling Agency! (Here's the website if you are interested: Signature Ink Models). I'm very pumped about it!! Our classes started on January 5.

Here's exactly what happened: My friend Tyesha, who is tall and beautiful and very "model-esque", was already going to sign with Signature and was in a fashion show in November with the agency. I went to support her and on a trip to the ladies room--during which I got sidetracked and ended up buying one of the most beautiful and CHUNKY rings I've ever seen and owned!--I saw a flier for the agency's open call that upcoming Friday. I went to the agency's website and MySpace pages and saw that she has a full-figured division and that she has people who aren't the typical "fashion/model industry standard" but they all have that something! So, I decided "This is the year of no more fears!" and decided to go on the open call. (I had previously decided that I wanted to do some full-figured modeling, but kept chickening out, after getting rejected for the Mo'Nique's F.A.T. chance show--they wanted to make people over. I thought they'd want fly and confident full-figured women! I was wrong.)

So, I contacted the director (she's a faithful member of my church so I knew she wouldn't have me doing nothin' CRAZY) to find out what I needed. I ended up taking a black & white picture of myself from one of my trips to Vegas--it was seriously all I had! The color ink on my printer was gone!--with me to give her! I had to do an interview, and then walk & pose! I was SO nervous!! Wow! But I did it!! I was so proud!! And I was even happier when I got that call to come back for a second interview--with the director herself! Now, before all this, I knew her name and spoke, but we'd never had conversation! She told me that she was interested in signing me! YAY!!

So, fast forward to the present and here we are, almost finished our 2nd month of class! (Class, for adults, is 6 months, unless you have previous experience! Her kids division train for 12 months.) I did my first photoshoot two weeks ago. It was fantastic! (As soon as I learn about rights and all that regarding the photos, I'll post one!) It was fun and a pure adrenaline rush, but it was also hard work. I mean, I don't normally just "smile for the camera" or at hardly smile at all, but she kept telling me that my natural smile needs to come out more!

And even funnier still is the fact that, although I'm a full-figured model, I've got to be more conscious than ever about my weight, what I eat (and drink!! Gotta prevent those breakouts!) and how often I exercise and all that!! I'll also have to probably change some things about my look (my hair or perhaps the way I dress) but I look forward to the changes!! I mean, I figure I can only get fly-er from here on out!! So as such, I've tried to also step it up in the general looks/appearance department! I don't wanna be out at dinner with friends, have someone overhear me say "yeah, so my modeling agent..." and the person looks at my outfit and burst into laughter!

So...YAY, I'm a model!!

Happy President's Day!

2008-02-15T16:57:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I'm not REALLY that pumped about Abe Lincoln & uh...all the other presidents whose birthdays we celebrate on that day, I'm moreso happy for a day off!! Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the fact that Abraham Lincoln was born and did great things as a president--though not so QUITE what everyone thinks!--but on Monday, I doubt that I'll be little more than resting up for the rest of the week! Uh...now I feel guilty having said that...any ideas on how I could "celebrate" Monday? (And, NO, a President's day sale does NOT count!)

Sandals...in January?

2008-01-08T13:28:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm not quite wearing sandals to work, but I don't have on stockings!! This SHOULD NOT be OK!! It's January, for goodness' sake! I just checked the weather; it's 66 degrees outside!! What in the world is going on?! It's hard to dress in this kind of weather because you wanna take it back to spring/summer clothes but you also think, in the back of your mind, that you don't wanna get sick...so you try to dress as appopriately as possible!! Does this mean that our summer is going to be blistering hot? I hope not!!

Happy Holidays

2007-12-21T13:48:00.000-05:00

So...it's December 21! That means that (this year anyway) Hanukkah has passed, Christmas is on the way, New Year's Eve & Kwanzaa aresoon to follow!! This year I have learned, more than ever, that it truly IS about sharing time with family and beloved friends!! Make sure that during this holiday season you let everyone that you love KNOW that you love them! You don't have to buy expensive trinkets to show that love--my family is getting love, laughter...and some baked goods if I feel like it! Call someone, visit someone or send a card--handwritten...but an e-card will still be nice, if you have to go that way!

Remember why we celebrate at this time! It's not about the fat man in the red suit! Whatever, and Whoever, you believe...go back to THAT and celebate it this Holiday season! (I believe in God...so I celebrate Jesus' birth! No, I don't know if he was born on December 25 or sometime in the spring...but I DO believe He was born so that's why I celebrate!! It means that I have a chance at new life!)

Happy Holidays everyone!

Cold season

2007-12-05T15:32:00.000-05:00

I named this post "cold season" for two reasons!
1) It's the season where it's starting to be cold! and
2) it's the season where people--including me!--start to CATCH colds!!
Last night, I was feeling extra "stuffy" in the nose area...and I was rummaging through my junk drawer--you know, the one that has everything!! It's the one in my room, not in the kitchen though! It has my extra medicine, cords for cell phones and whatnot and whatever else I throw in there! Well I found a jar of Vicks Vapo Rub...it looked like I'd had it a while! The poor jar was all beat and battered! But, maaan, I put some on my nose and it worked just like I remember back in the day!! Oh, it made me so happy!! I was breathing like a charm again...well, for about 5 minutes at least. I just kept re-applying!! Thank you VICKS!

A long while

2007-11-15T15:46:00.000-05:00

It's been a LONG time since I have posted anything to my blog...and I figured today is as good a day as any!! Let's see...what's new? well, tonight, I'm returning to karate...YAY!! Um...that's about it, actually! And right now, I'm in the mood for a Coke and a Twix...but I'm trying to fight the feelings! Let's see, what else...oh, Thanksgiving is ONE week away!! Yay...I'm excited about that...I'm going to volunteer to help with the Bea Gaddy Thanks for Giving dinner again this year...and then I'll be home...hopefully a repeat of last year, "just chillin' in a sweatsuit!" I do plan to bake some though! Yum! I'm ready!

My good weekend

2007-10-16T17:34:00.000-04:00

I meant to post this yesterday...but hey, I forgot!! I had a wonderful weekend!! It was pretty incredible...even if it did go too fast and made me more tired than I've been in a LONG time!! Here's a (hopefully) short synopsis!
Friday, I went to see my favorite group of all time!!! Boyz II Men!!! Yes, there were only three of them and yes, they sang to CDs and yes, because it was at Ram's Head they only performed for about an hour. But it was the most wonderful hour or so ever!! Wanya was, is now, and forever shall be, my total and complete BOYFRIEND...oh, I love him so much--in a "grown woman with a huge crush on a celebrity" kind of way only, of course! Poor Nathan was sick but still managed to sing about 98% of the songs! It was awesome and I'm SO happy that my friend Crystal told me about it so I could go!! Then, Saturday, I got up and went to dance rehearsal!! After that, I got something to eat for me, my mom and aunt. Then I went home...and NOTHING!! Wow, that was an experience within itself! I took a nap and then woke up and nothing! I didn't have somewhere to be; I didn't have something important to do!! What a way to spend a Saturday!! Then, Sunday, I volunteered with Maryland's Race for the Cure. It was my honor and my pleasure to be a part of such a cause! There were over 32,000 registrants for the race! It was a record number for our state!! Then, later that day, my dance ministry wend and ministered through dance at another church!! It was an awesome weekend! I need more stress-free & less hectic weekends like that!!

I'm a chicken!!

2007-10-03T17:50:00.000-04:00

So, I was on the elevator at work and I saw the guy that looks like he's Mr. Evans' brother and it creeped me out!! Some people were "horseplaying" on there and he made a face...I PROMISE he's Mr. Evans' brother! (Mr. Evans, in case you don't feel like searching through the archives to figure out who that is, was my 11th grade math teacher at Western...I wasn't afraid of him, exactly...but he was just very, unique and it was weird to discover that his brother--still too 'fraid to ask--works here!)

I'm a chicken...and I'm ok with that!!

wake up

2007-09-14T15:01:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been so sleepy that you fall asleep right where you are--no matter WHERE that is and the worst part is that you don't realize it until you wake up? Sheesh! That keeps happening to me at work! I'm glad that I have the "new mail arrival" sound to keep me going!
I'm actually trying to do work so this has been a tough one!! Whew!

But thankfully, the weekend is here!! I can rest--hopefully!!

nothing special

2007-08-13T11:23:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in a while so I just wanted to post something...but I have nothing "real" to talk about!! Let's see...it's been an INCREDIBLY hot summer, but that's no newsflash!! Oh, I do have one announcement! I have decided to return to culinary school!! I'm very excited about it and I WILL finish this time!! Ok, that's it...nothing more to see here!

No wings...

2007-07-25T22:59:00.001-04:00

...on the first date! I changed my mind!! Ok, let me back up! I was talking to some of my friends (over plates of wings from Murray's) and wanted to know if they were going to be the types to order wings on the first date or a sensible salad...to start the meal, of course!! (My friends and I love chicken wings, especially buffalo wings and usually get them every time we go out to dinner for appetizers!) Most of them said "no wings on the first date" and I was like "y'all are all wack!! You are going to be fake! That ain't right!" (Yes, BAD English but so what!)I said, "wings for me, please!" One friend said "But all that crap gets under your nails!" (I have acrylic nails...my real ones are too short to even worry about!) Fast forward to tonight; I just had the best Buffalo wings I've had in a LONG time!! However, even AFTER I washed my hands, there was plenty of CRAP UNDER MY NAILS!! So...no wings for me on the first date!! I don't want to spend an hour flicking "stuff" from under my nails!!

(and NO this was not that important an announcement but I hadn't posted in a while, so hey!)

The OFFICIAL late twenties

2007-07-05T11:20:00.000-04:00

So...my birthday was two days ago and it was one of the best birthdays yet!! I turned 28 and so I'm officially in my late 20s...if I wasn't already!! I had a wonderful day...full of beautiful cards, text messages, phone calls and in-person wishes as well! I went to lunch with some friends--which was bittersweet! The food was good (always is at Friendly's!) but we saw ANTS and that was disgusting! Then, later in the day (I went to work...I didn't take off like some folks do!) I went to dinner and then to the movies with some good friends!! I saw "Transformers" and it was really good...the way that they actually transformed was the hardest part of the movie to me!! I would definitely recommend that people see it!!

So...two years to 30!! And I'm excited about it!!

Tagged

2007-06-17T23:18:00.000-04:00

My friend Toya tagged me to write 7 things about myself like a week or more ago...how sad is it that I can't think of anything?! Well, anything worth writing!

I'm a Zebra!!

2007-05-30T14:20:00.000-04:00

OK, so I'm obviously NOT a zebra...but I have decided that for the rest of this week--at least the rest of the work week, but if I can, up through Sunday--I'm going to wear black, white or some combination of the two!! I recently realized that I LOVE white and black and apparently, black and white! (I said that I've recently realized it because I didn't consciously go out and buy tons of black and white...well, yes, I did with white, but not black! But almost every night that I was going to get dressed in Vegas, it was some version white and black...and I'm learning to just embrace that!!) I've discovered lots of ways to "spice it up" so I'm determined to do just that!! Yesterday...a black and white polka-dotted shirt with black Bermuda shorts--that I adore from Torrid. Today...a black and white paisley print top with white gauchos--that I LOVE from Target. Tomorrow, not really sure, but I'll come up with something!! Just felt the need to share that!!

Speaking of sharing...it seems like I have some THING against posting about my trips to Vegas...but it just seems like I wanna keep the memories, for the most part, to myself!! I don't know why that is...perhaps it's because when I break it down...I don't do anything SUPER special in Vegas but RELAX, RELATE and RELEASE! So...if you wanna know what happened in Vegas, email me!! I'll share...one message at a time!

Back from Vegas

2007-05-24T18:03:00.000-04:00

I was in Las Vegas from May 14 until May 22...now I'm home...and back to work...and I'm sad!!!!! Real sad!! That's it!!

PS I'll be 28 in a little over a month! Whoo hoo!

My child-filled weekend!!

2007-05-08T12:14:00.000-04:00

You know, I don't know if I say it often on here, but I LOVE children!! I mean LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them!! And I think they love me...and I think I'm good with them!! That's why I'm, like, the world's oldest sitter! LOL!! I watched the children of a couple of friends from church this weekend!! They recently moved to York, PA and I told them that just because they moved didn't mean I wasn't willing to watch the children!! So this weekend, for the first time, I did an overnight baby-sit with them!! Did I mention they have 4 children who are 11, 7, 6, and 4? But I had a ball...Here is my account of what happened:

I got to their house about 5pm on Saturday and the drive was actually pretty nice!! The parents left about an hour later…I cooked dinner--corn dogs and Tater Tots--which we ate on the back deck. Then, baths and a board game--the Bratz dolls, which I am a little sick of have this "make the doll up" game--then ice cream sundaes and I let them watch TV in bed for a little bit…then it was night-night!! Sunday morning, woke up around 8--I was SO happy they let me sleep "late"! Breakfast was instant oatmeal, easy stuff, and then getting dressed--complete with me doing hair!! Whoo! That was an adventure!! I'm NOT good with hair, but I fared pretty well!! Then, we packed lunch for an outdoor lunch in the "park", which was actually just a bench at the playground. Then we actually walked to the playground. They played, we all got on swings and then I practiced some of my dancing…played a QUICK game of basketball--I was referee--and then walked home. As we got back to their block, their parents were rounding the corner!! It was GREAT…they listen to me pretty well and when they don't, they are easy for me to discipline!! A simple "Go to your room and I mean it" brings tears and fear! Oh yes AND the kids wanted to dance...LOL!! WE did the Cha Cha slide, Electric Slide and Booty call...like all five of us, in the living room, doing line dances!! AND she paid me $60!! WHAT? I was EXTRA happy!! I was willing to do it for "a chance to be out of Baltimore and gas!" LOL!! So it was a great weekend...I can wait to have my own children!! (And NO, I didn't write the "can" by mistake!)

Happy April 30

2007-04-30T11:18:00.000-04:00

Today is April 30 and that means...well, nothing special!! It's just a beautiful day; the sun is shining and I'm alive!! So YAY for today!! So, let's see...what's new with me? Well, wedding mania has begun for me! My FAVORITE cousin on the planet, Nikki, got married on April 21st!! My sister is getting married May 12! One of my dance ministry sisters and her husband are renewing their vows in mid-June. Another cousin is getting married at the end of June. Lastly, my friend Angie is getting married July 21!! (The weddings that I mentioned with specific dates...I'm part of the wedding party!!) Weddings are beautiful things BUT they can be costly to be a part of!! On DRESSES alone this year, I've spent over $500...and I'm not even the one getting married! But it's ok!! Yay for love and marriage and all that comes with it! And speaking of weddings, I guess my mom has rubbed off on me...I had a moment of weakness and bought a Modern Brides magazine this weekend!! It's really thick (like Vogue) and has lots of EXPENSIVE ideas (again, like Vogue) but it's stuff that can be done just as nicely with a smaller budget! It's fun looking through the mags and "planning" for my wedding!! Hey, I'm just trying to get better with advanced preparation!! At least, that's what I tell myself when I'm looking online at reception sites! LOL!

Hints!!

2007-04-23T13:53:00.000-04:00

So...my mother wants me to get married and give her grandchildren SOON!!! How do I know? Well, for starters she has bought me--or perhaps she brought it from work. I'm not really sure if she paid for it!--not one but TWO bridal magazines!! And not like two at the same time in a "I was in this kind of mood" situation, but two DIFFERENT times!! She's also always talking about how her sisters and friends are grandmothers and she's not!! (She's the oldest of her sisters and has the oldest grandchildren and among her friends, my mom has some of the oldest children) She even mentioned wanting to go to a bridal show together!! And the weird part is that I'm as equally ALL FOR IT!! What's weird about all this...well, I don't have a steady boyfriend or anyone that my mom could potentially have in mind!! I mean, should I feel some kind of pressure or need to rush?! I'm thinking so!!!

Newest Jams of Shame

2007-04-05T16:18:00.000-04:00

Yes, folks, it's that time again!! Time for me to 'fess up to those songs that I like but wished that I didn't!

1) "Buy You a Drink" by T-Pain featuring Yung Joc--yes, I know...here I go AGAIN with T-Pain, sheesh!!!

2) "Throw Some D's" by Rich Boy featuring Polow Da Don--and YES, it IS sad that I know who the song is by AND how to spell the artists' names properly!

OK, I think that's it!! It seemed like I had so many!! Some of my other jams, I don't feel such shame in liking them!!

Anymore to add to the list?!

YUMMY!!

2007-03-23T13:04:00.000-04:00

Today is SUCH a good food day!! I'm SO happy!!! I had a YUMMY Dutch Apple and Raisin bagel from Panera Bread for breakfast...then, I was in this focus study thing on CHOCOLATE!!!!! Oh yes, that was FANTASTIC...AND I got paid for it!! WHAT?! Remarkable!!! Then, for lunch, this INCREDIBLE salad from the salad bar at Giant...and tonight, dinner with my girlfriends at the Cheesecake Factory...can't WAIT!! Ooh, AND tomorrow, I'm going to brunch with my mom at the, I think, Radissson in Cross Keys...I'm going to be eating good all weekend!! YAY!! AND it's spring time!! I'm as happy as a pig in mud!! (Whatever that means!!)

Changing

2007-03-19T13:19:00.000-04:00

So...I have decided that for REAL this time, I want to cut my hair...specifically like Rihanna's cute lil bob cut!! I want it cut like that AND colored!! It will be cute...I will be cute WITH it and I'm excited!! For a while, I was "afraid" to cut my hair, but why...seriously, it's JUST hair!! It will grow back...and if I can't wait, in this day and age, I can BUY some hair!! So I'm going to do it...this comes on the heels of my decision to ACTIVELY change the way I look...for the better! Normally, I pride myself on the "appearance isn't everything" way of thinking! And while that statement is TRUE, it's still SOMETHING!! So, I want to be proactive in changing my look!! I'm excited about further developing my style and what I like!! I may even post pictures!! Ooh!!

Happily Ever After

2007-03-12T18:00:00.000-04:00

SO...I'm talking with a co-worker, who I often have MIND-BLOWING (and NOT in a positive way) conversations with and it made me feel like I have these romantic idealistic ridiculous expectations of relationships and marriage!! I hope that is not true and I hope that he's just more willing to deal with foolishness than I am...because if it turns out he is right and that I'm basically setting myself up to 1) be alone or 2) to settle then I WON'T be a happy camper!!!!!!!!
He's always asking me "what about love?" and I'm like "love is not enough" and I truly and honestly believe that! OF COURSE it's the foundation, but I definitely do NOT think it's enough to sustain a relationship. But maybe that's just me!!

Return to Vegas

2007-03-09T12:32:00.001-05:00

I'm going back to Las Vegas in May!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm ecstatic!!!!!!!!!

Shut UP!!!!

2007-03-08T16:49:00.000-05:00

So...I have realized I don't especially like it when people complain just for the heck of it!! I'm more of a "what are you going to do about it?" person!! Of course, I ALWAYS think that there is a time and place to just vent and I'll happily listen!! But if you continuously tell me about the same problems that you intend to do NOTHING about, just don't call or email or text me!! Ugh!! And DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT ask my opinion because it doesn't matter because you don't intend to change anything!! That's all!

The Sun is Shining

2007-03-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

Even though it's only about 30 degrees today--at least, here in Baltimore--I'm SO happy that there have been DAYS of sunshine!! This makes me happy!!

Know what else (still) makes me happy? My freakin' iPod! Gosh I love that gadget!! It's bananas!! I'm up to almost 900 songs (still a FAR cry from the full capacity) and I'm just jammin' more and more day by day!! It makes me so happy!! Who would have known!?!

Anyway, here's to SPRING!!

Back to work!!

2007-02-15T14:17:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day that I've been at work since Tuesday morning!! Tuesday afternoon, our building--and the federal government, in general--closed at 2pm. (I live in Baltimore and in this area, there have been periods of snow and freezing rain off and on for a few days! Pretty dangerous driving conditions!) Yesterday was a 4 hour delay for my agency, which translates to working 12:30 to 5 and I kindly declined!! So, yesterday, I washed dishes, did the rest of my laundry, a wonderful breakfast (chocolate chip muffin and milk! Yum!) and THEN a wonderful brunch--which was really just breakfast part 2 (yummy times 2), got on the computer for a few hours and then went to visit my friend Kia...who is a schoolteacher in Baltimore City and was experiencing some serious cabin fever!! Ooh, and my mom gave me a beautiful card and very pretty candleholder for a Valentine's day gift--after my brother KINDLY reminded her that she hadn't given us gifts since we were adults!! She bought him a card, too, and a nice mug! It was a very sweet Valentine's day (and my dad told me that he wished I'd been snowed in at his house!! AWW!) and staying home was the icing on the cake!! But back to work and wishing I was home...I have a problem!!

rat cakes...and other mess-ups

2007-02-09T02:01:00.000-05:00

So...I'm woke at 2am--which is a PROBLEM considering I should be at work in NO LATER THAN 7.5 hours and I've not even gone to bed yet!! I'm tired and yet I just KEEP on finding things to do on the Internet! And, of course, the TV is still on! I've just finished watching "Ace of Cakes"--which, if you don't watch, combines two of my favorite things BAKING and BALTIMORE!! One of the reasons that I like watching the show is because it makes me feel good as a beginner cake decorator to know that even the PROS have BIG-TIME mess ups!! Sometimes they'll top a cake 3 times...or they'll be stumped when trying to figure out how best to present it (paint the flowers on, or create them from gumpaste, that kind of thing)...it's just great to know that I'm not alone! And it's VERY cool to see all the stuff that can be done with edible ingredients!! I can't WAIT to open my bakery!! Whoo hoo!!

Ok...think I'll head to bed now!!

Who am I?

2007-02-07T18:32:00.000-05:00

So...I have decided that 2007 will be the year that I'm going to start on the journey towards "who God says Tonyette should be!" (as opposed to what family, society and those generally just NOT "in the know") The thought of that is daunting and scary and exciting all at the same time, but I'm determined to do just that...and though I'm sure of what some of that means...other parts of it are unclear! No matter what, I'll be SURE to share all the details through blog posts! I'm thinking a career change, a relationship change--in that I might actually START a new one--and a location change are all in my immediate future!
Prayers, well wishes and just plain ole good vibrations will be solicited and are appreciated in advance!!

FROST-BITTEN!

2007-02-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

OK, so I don't ACTUALLY have frost bite, but it's literally GOT to be below freezing outside!! Or CLOSE!! I mean, WOW!!!!!!!!! At least it seems that way here in Baltimore!! I mean, it's one of those "if I didn't HAVE to leave the house, I wouldn't" days!! It makes me want to go home, have chili with cornbread or biscuits and hot chocolate! (Last night had beef stew with bread from Panera with homemade chocolate chip cookies! YUM!!) Now, I just wish it would snow enough that I could get like a day or two off!! Isn't that terrible...especially considering I was off work for 2.5 days (was out sick)at the end of last week!! Oh well, at least I'm honest!

In other news...next Wednesday is Valentine's day and I'm pretty excited...it means that I get to have all the chocolate I want and no one will say anything!! And it means that next Thursday Godiva will have a sale!! I can't wait!!! Any special Feb 14 plans, anyone??

5 Things You Don't Know About Me!

2007-01-19T10:55:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by my friend Toya (visit her at http://lifeofaladybug.typepad.com) to do this!! Here we go (I went back and changed this a little bit before I posted it! I think the whole point is to dig a little deeper than normal!)

When I was a child, I was incredibly sensitive!! I was the most crying-est, "you hurt my feelings"-est girl in all of Baltimore City! It was so bad, that one time, I asked my aunt if I could help decorate for my cousin's party and when she told me that I couldn't, I cried! The ironic thing is that now I'm accused of sometimes being too insensitive and cold! Wow, perhaps I need to find a balance!

I worry about whether or not people think I'm "cool" and I used to worry about making friends! I used to worry about it at school, I worried about it when I first starting working at my job and I even thought about it at church! I always felt nerdy or geeky in school so when I got to college, I desperately wanted to shake that image. I don't know how well it worked, but I did try! Only in the last few years have I come to the conclusion that : a) what people think doesn't matter and b) I'm COOL anyway!

I used to want to get sick so I could get attention!! It sounds weird and horrible, but it's true! The last time I was in the hospital--I'm told. I was too young to remember--I was about 2 or 3 months old having surgery for a hernia. I have never had any broken bones, sprains or fractures, not one stitch, no ER visits or even outpatient surgery. I don't have any allergies that are strong enough to demand that I take anything more than the standard OTC stuff. My brother has had stitches, a sprained this, a fractured that and between the two of us, he even got chicken pox the worst. I used to want something to happen to me so that I could have people say, "ooh, poor Tonyette, she broke her _____" because no one ever did, ever does. But I realized, I don't need attention that bad! So, now I thank God that none of that has happened to me!

I love to travel and have in-depth plans to see the world! One day, I'd like to be able to say that I have seen all 50 states in the United States, all 3 countries in North America, and have spent at least 15 minutes (even if it means I was just in an airport somewhere) on every continent, well maybe NOT Antarctica, but every other!

I love my tattoo!! Ok, let's start with this, I HAVE a tattoo! It's a beautiful butterfly (colored in with pretty orange and red and green) with little stars around it, outlined in purple, and underneath it, on a ribbon, is my name. I have had it for 7 years I still love it as much as the first day I got it!!

OK, so I'm tagging Bethany (www.divasoul.blogspot.com)

Heaven only knows

2007-01-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

I have decided that I like John Legend! I'll say it like my mom would say it, John Legend could be my boyfriend! My mom is hilarious!! She says that phrase about various famous people as if the guy was only waiting for her PERMISSION to become her beau! LOL!! But yes, as I listen to Once Again, I have decided to permit him to be my boyfriend!! Heaven Only Knows, whoo!

brain diarrhea

2007-01-11T14:53:00.000-05:00

(Just felt like posting and didn't have a specific topic so let's just see where this post goes!)
Happy New Year Everyone!!
Welcome to 2007!! I'm so excited about this year and all that it will bring!! What will it bring, I don't know--a date would be nice, though--but I'm looking forward to whatever it is!! I've already been to a wedding this year...and I have four more to go, thus far. I'm participating in three and attending a fourth. I told one of the soon-to-be brides that I'm going to have to start a "bridesmaid account"--to be set up like those holiday accounts--if things keep going the way they have been! I'm very happy for all my family and friends who are getting married but WOW, it can get costly for someone like me!! Wow!! What with dress, shoes, hair, jewelry, makeup, mani- and pedicure and TIME, it's a lot of money involved! Whoo! But it's all good; I do it because I love them! I also have a few friends who are expecting babies this year...my future godson is due in the next couple of weeks! (My best friend is having a baby boy and is due on January 24th, I think!) YAY!! One of my FAVE co-workers is expecting a baby in March; another friend is having a baby and she is due June 2. So lots of weddings and babies in my future--none of them mine, which is more than OK with me! Earlier, I was having a discussion with some co-workers and I realized that I'm a little worried about when I become a wife and mother. I was watching President Gerald Ford's funeral on TV--I was home because I'm an employee of the federal gov't and we got off for a national day of mourning--and I saw his widow being escorted in by Pres. Bush. I was thinking, "Wow, what will she do now?" They had been MARRIED longer than my mother has been BORN! I was wondering if her whole life had been dedicated to being "Mrs Gerald Ford" and "mother of Sarah, etc". I mean, we all know she had the clinic and all but like, when you've been with a person for more of your life than you haven't been with them, do you become identifiable as a part of them? I am a little afraid to lose myself as I become someone's wife and mother. I was assured though, that it doesn't have to be that way!! I guess not!! Oh well...one day, we'll see!

On a completely different note--I think Chris Brown is a lil cute now...Not as in a "young boyfriends list" cute, but more like if my younger cousin was interested in him, I'd be like "aww, yeah, he's cute!" And my current favorite song is "Poppin" by him right now!! YES! That is all!

Happy (Almost) New Year!

2006-12-28T14:26:00.000-05:00

Hi all,
I haven't posted in a while...and I was going to write "Merry Christmas" but as my friend Karyn said, "that's not funny!" (Thanks, Rikki!) So, here I am, trying to think of funny stuff to post and, of course, coming up with nothing!

So, I'll just say this instead "Happy Holidays and Holy Days" to all!! I have friends who celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa! Hopefully everyone did enjoy, and is currently enjoying, this season!

So, as a new year is merely days away, I am starting to think about how I want to change for this time next year. Here are a few things I'd like to work on:

Keeping my word! If I say I'm coming, I'm going to come! I won't be a "no call, no show" any more!
Punctuality!! If I say I'm coming, I want to be there on TIME! It's to the point that when I arrive places 5 or 10 minutes late, people applaud me!
Coming to work earlier, so I can eventually do an AWS (which means, if you don't work where I work or somewhere similar that I can work something other than a regular "5 days a week, 8.5 hours a day schedule!)
Sticking to the budget I KNOW I need to stick to! No explanation needed
Sticking to the exercise routine I keep starting and stopping! Again, no explanation needed!
Deciding on my life goals for the next 1, 5 and 10 years. I'll be 28 next year...there are some things I'd like to have in place before the big 3-0, husband and babies come!

I think that's about it for me! If I think of anything, I'll post again!

Oh Happy Day!!

2006-11-29T13:41:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling especially happy today, or at least right now! (It's probably "a PMS-induced manic state" which could come crashing down at any moment, but for now I'll just ride the waves!!)

Here is a list of stuff that makes me happy:

My yummy lunches: I had a YUMMY lunch both yesterday and today!! Yesterday, I had a good half sandwich (Turkey Caprese) and half salad (Greek) fromPanera!! Whoo, it was scrumptious!! Then, today, I had an LBC--that's the abbreviation for "little bacon cheeseburger" on the fax form--with fries from Five Guys! Yum, yum, yum! Now, of course because I don't eat much beef I'll be UPSET on like Friday evening, but it was worth it!
Thundercats!: I am SO excited to know that Thundercats, Seasons 1 & 2 are on DVD! It is honestly one of my favorite cartoons of ALL TIME! I get to see Lion-O, Snarf and the gang soon!! Whoo hoo! I saw the DVDs on sale at Best Buy, but before I decide to buy--it takes a LOT to convince me to buy DVDs or CDs--I will view them all on Netflix!! I'm more than thrilled about this! (I remember one year my cousin Aaron dressed up as Lion-O for Halloween! It was the GREATEST costume ever!)
Netflix, in general: I am SUCH a fan of Netflix. As my grandma Ernestine once said, "They sure make everything for lazy people these days!" I couldn't agree more and be happier! Netflix is so great because literally all I have to do is go to my computer, pick out a bunch of movies I want to see, wait for them to come to my mailbox, watch them and mail them back! I don't even have to put stamps on the envelopes that COME with the DVDs in the mail!! Whoever came up with this...genius!
Days of having NOTHING to do: This past Saturday, because I didn't have dance practice, I relaxed so much and did so little that I started to feel guilty and I even decided to take a look at my Palm Tungsten to make sure I wasn't missing out on something! I came in the house on Friday night and didn't leave back out until Sunday morning! It was SUPERB!!!!

SO, for NOW, I'm happy!

Rhetorical?

2006-11-27T12:57:00.000-05:00

Just had a random thought I had as I called Five Guys to get the price of a "little cheeseburger".
When you call a place like Five Guys or Pizza Hut or anywhere that is a business that accepts calls from customers, when they say "can you please hold?" is it actually a rhetorical question? or better yet, is it actually a demand posed as a polite question...which is just "polite" for "I have something else to do right now so I can't talk to you, so HOLD! If you don't like it, TOUGH!! At least we 'asked'?"

Because think about it, when the voice on the other end of the phone asked me if I would please hold...what were my options? I could have said, "No! I won't hold! " but where would that have gotten me? Would she have actually stopped ringing up people in my ear and heard my question? I highly doubt it! So I just said "sure!" and held the phone until I figured she was never coming back to her end--she was taking orders and talking to co-workers--and I hung up! (I called back about 10 minutes later! I got put on hold again! But this time, the chickadee came back to the phone!)

Are we REALLY that busy??

2006-11-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I watch The Nanny and if I'm home--which I sometimes am--Golden Girls, for about 10 minutes. So this means I watch lots of Lifetime...and I always see that commercial for Boniva with Sally Field. If you don't know, Boniva is for osteoporosis treatment! The BIG thing about it is that it's a pill you only need to take once a month, as opposed to some treatments which are weekly!! Now, maybe it's because I don't have to deal with it, but I feel like even though I lead a pretty busy life...I'm sure that I could fit FIVE MINUTES into my schedule to take a pill! The same rings true for that pill they sell for like, herpes or some other STD.
In the Boniva commercial, Forest Gump's mom is all proud that she only takes one pill her month while her girlfriend has to take her pill weekly. I mean...again, I've got a pretty busy schedule, I'm sure I can find the 1 minute it would require to take a pill! Ok...now because I'm ME, I did research Boniva a bit and on the website it says that you have to allot one hour to not having ANYTHING else food- or beverage-wise. Also, it says that you MUST drink plain water with it...not anything else (and it actually LISTS what you can't drink with it!!) But again, is this THAT much of a sacrifice once a week...so much so that one would RELISH the chance to do it once monthly instead of weekly!!

And another thing that bothers me is when those commercials for medicines that tell you all the side effects and they sound WORSE than what you already have and are trying to treat!! My FAVORITE one is the commercial that is for frequent urination but one of the side effects is diarrhea!! Now, my thinking is...if you are going to the bathroom ALL THE TIME...which would you rather do??? Sheesh!!

I was going to elaborate on how I felt about the herpes (5 times a day versus one time a day) commercial, but I think my comments will be too ignorant, so I'll resist!

What commercials do you hate?

Dr. McDreamy...is DREAMY!

2006-11-17T16:11:00.000-05:00

I'm watching Oprah right now and the cast of Grey's Anatomy is on there...and I admittedly don't watch Oprah regularly nor do I watch Grey's Anatomy but I think that Patrick Dempsey is AS beautiful now as he was in "Can't Buy Me Love"! Ok...how about this...as beautiful as I thought he was in "Can't Buy Me Love!" Probably even more so...WHOO!

Joy on a plate!

2006-11-17T14:43:00.000-05:00

I just got an email and saw two of my favorite food phrases in the same sentence! What were those two phrases: "BBQ chicken pizza" and "Panera Bread"! Imagine me SQUEALING with delight right now!! I LOVE barbecue chicken pizza--and the ironic thing is the first time I tasted it, I didn't realize beforehand that you get barbecue sauce instead of traditional pizza sauce and I was quite hesitant!! After the first bite, I was SUCH a fan! And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE everything (well everything that I've tasted) from Panera Bread!! The thrill that I feel is probably a lil ridiculous! Oh WELL! I know what I'll be having for dinner!!

Plethora o' posts!

2006-11-16T18:02:00.000-05:00

This post is dedicated to all my fans! AHAHAHA! Even I had to laugh at the foolery that was that statement!! I have like 6 faithful readers and a few new friends because of the NaBloPoMo--which I failed, by the way! This post is actually in dedication of my friend Donté who lovingly sent me an email to ask "did you just give up on blogging"! Thanks for the kick in the tuckus to get back on the blogging train! But seriously, to all like 8 of you who read my blog, I REALLY do appreciate it!! Love you!
SO...since I've been out of the blogging fold for a minute, I'll do one of my famous long posts with a breakdown by sub-topic! Here we go!

It's raining men
Ok, so it's not raining men! It, IS, however, raining cats, dogs and ponies outside!! OK, not really, but you get the drift! It's raining hard as HADES out there! Ok, so I should feel happy that I live in Baltimore, MD and not Tornadoville, SomewhereElse but STILL! (Thank you, Lord!) It's so dark outside that when I was out at 3:30pm, coming from another building back to my building at work, I was CONVINCED it was close to quittin' time--which is 6pm for me! It's bananas how dark and rainy but not cold it is outside!! Makes me wanna go home and cuddle up with, as my aunt put it "a loved one...and NOT family either!" Which goes back to the idea of it raining men!! If it were, I'd be sure to have one then...right! Wouldn't I? It would be pitiful for it to be RAINING men and I still not have one! LOL! But...like how would that work, men falling from the sky? Would they be battered and bruised from hitting the ground, or cars or other people? Would they be naked b/c they'd be falling from the heavens? Would they fall territorially correct? Like would guys who speak English fall over the United States and Great Britain and those who speak Portugese fall over Portugal and Brazil? The idea of "man rain" is suddenly not so appealing!! But then again, that's probably because I put WAY too much thought into that! WOW! So anyway...whole point of this post...my goal for this evening, to get somewhere and stay dry!

One of my favorite pasttimes: TV
Ok, so I SPARED everyone by not posting updates about LB: The Real OC...but that was mostly because I didn't see it that much this season! Yesterday was the season finale and I can't believe that I didn't even realize that Cami, Kyndra, Cameron and...that's all I can remember...oh, oh, oh, Raquel, Tessa and the unfortunately unattractive Breanna...were only JUNIORS this year!! I HATE these kids!! They went to Cabo San Lucas for spring break!! They drive nice SUVs and Beamers and stuff! I HATE these kids! So since that's gone off, I'll have to talk about a show I LOVE...and I'll get criticism for liking it, but that's ok with me, The Wire! I think it's a fantastic show because it really shows what SOME aspects of living in Baltimore are like. I have a friend who works for an elected official and she told me that he actually used footage in a meeting to prove a point!! WAY TO GO to The Wire!! It's so well-written and it keeps me on edge! One of my favorite characters for whatever reason is Snoop...she's my favorite man-girl ever! And I think that Jamie Hector--aka Marlo Stanfield--has beautiful eyes! Plus, I love ALL the lil kids, even the car-jacking one who is like 14 AND the one who has a offensively foul mouth but is like 10! And let's talk about a show I DON'T like...the FREAKING Tyra Banks show!! What is WITH this chick? She has issues and she got her own talk show so she could work them out!! She irks me!!! I'd want to BANG her if I went on her show!! What else am I watching this season? I'm TRYING to watch Girlfriends but it's harder and harder because the stories are dumb sometimes!! The Game, I feel the same way!! I'm trying but it's not really all that super-interesting! I'm just trying to support Tia Mowry...and the guy who plays her boyfriend is WAY cuter than the guy who was in that first episode--that episode that was actually a Girlfriends episode--but he seems dumber!

Another favorite pasttime: reading
I've been able to devote more time to reading lately--since I readjusted my schedule and decided to do considerably less tutoring and extraneous crap! I'm very happy about it because I've read like perhaps 9 books in the last month and a half!! I'm back to my old self! It feels great! What are some of the books I've read: God Don't Like Ugly, God Still Don't Like Ugly and now I'm reading God Don't Play (they are a trilogy) by Mary Monroe. I love her books but she uses the "f" word TOO MUCH! Ugh!! Please...call it "hanky panky" or "nooky" but I'm sorry, I find it DISGUSTING when the main character talks about her and her husband in that way! UGH! I'm so happy to be back in the swing of reading!! YAY, ME!

Netflix
I'm really enjoying Netflix so far...I just subscribed to it less than 2 weeks ago and I already have my 2nd and 3rd movie at home! Whoo hoo! (Sidenote: I MUST purchase ATL! That T.I....now I see what all the fuss is about! I mean, he's literally a POUND or two bigger than Snoop was in that wife beater in Baby Boy, but his presence is incredibly sexy! I shudder to think that I was about to use the word "swagger". Though it was SO appropriate...I feel funny using certain slang sometimes!) So thanks to Netflix, tonight, while I'm home staying dry, I plan to watch Wedding Crashers and Freedomland! Whoo hoo!

I think that's it for now...oh wait, I finally remembered to stop paying for AOL!! Wanted to announce that because I've been "getting around to it" for months! Yay me...but I just got Netflix--and it's almost the same price! In fact, Netflix will be a few cents higher (I had AOL for Broadband at $14.95 and I will have the Netflix 2-at-a-time unlimited for $14.99 plus tax!). So that whole "I could save that $15" went right out the window! Oh well, at least I'm happy!

Strippers on Family Feud!!!

2006-11-09T17:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it's not exactly like it sounds!! I was watching Family Feud this morning as I got dressed--I was trying something different because I normally watch The Nanny! DON'T say bad things about it! I LOVE that show and have seen every episode and STILL watch the re-runs!
So, it's the most recent tapings of Family Feud, with John O'Hurley, and it was pretty cool b/c I love the show!! They've got a new lil look and everything. So about the third question in, the question was, "name one thing that a stripper would be upset to have break during her performance!" Um...are we seriously discussing strippers on Family Feud? If you are like me, you are curious of some of the answers, so here they are: the pole, leg/ankle, shoe/heel, music system and two more which I can't remember!! It was unbelievable and I was somehow really shocked that THAT was a question!! Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but like, WOW! (I just remembered another answer...bra!)
I just wanna know when did certain things became SO mainstream???

I rocked the vote!!

2006-11-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

Whenever I vote, I feel so proud!! I voted today and I felt good! I smiled a wide grin as I left the school (I vote at Pimlico Middle School, here in Baltimore City!) Yay, me! And hopefully, YAY, you too!!

I'm a failure!!

2006-11-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

I feel very sad about it, but I TOTALLY forgot about posting yesterday!! So, I won't be able to make 30 days of posting!! :--(
Oh well, I can't win any prizes, but let's see if I can still try to post at least once for the rest of the month--for my own personal accomplishment!!

busy!!!

2006-11-03T17:12:00.000-05:00

I'm swamped like CRAP at work!! In fact, I'm late for something else...and haven't been in the union office at all this week (I'm a union rep!)! In fact, I'm actually too busy to even be doing this but if not now, when?? Cause I'll PROBABLY forget later!! Oh well! Just had to get my third day in!! Whoo hoo! Tomorrow will be my challenge! Oh and Sunday, but we'll see how I fare!! Whoo!

Happy November 2!

2006-11-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

(I'm going to start having this pic by the first post of every day, so we'll know that I actually DID 30 posts...on 30 different days!! But remember, when we go back to count, I started with this pic on the SECOND day! I don't feel like doing an ETA!)

This morning, I woke up--abruptly! My mom screamed in her sleep!! It woke me up STRAIGHT from a dream--and was very thankful! Why?

Why not?! First of all, I WOKE UP! Someone who went to sleep last night doesn't have that testimony this morning!! Not only did I wake up, I woke up in a bed in a house that had heat and lights! I woke up surrounded by family--mom and brother--who I love and love me and who I didn't have to worry about harming me, in any way, during the night! I took a shower in hot water and dressed in clothes that fit before getting into a car that's mine--well, will be mine in 2010!--and driving to a job where I can be left alone--for the most part--to do my work. I can expect a paycheck to cover the bills I have, with leftovers!--Few for now, but that's not the point! I had lunch and snacks and pretty clean water--I still drink tap! No shame in my game!--and this evening, I'll be able to have dinner! So I woke up thankful!! I told my mom "Today is November 2!" And I've been telling people all day!! We should be happy that it's November 2...NOT because Thanksgiving is 3 weeks away--which means I get to leave MD, and go to Atlantic City for about 40 hours! Whoo hoo!--and not because Christmas is right around the corner! We should be happy that today is November 2 and we are ALIVE! God, thank YOU!!

I'm going to try my best to live a more appreciative life!

Ready for Love!

2006-11-01T17:31:00.000-05:00

Today is November 1st. Please join me every day this month to see what kind of inane and asinine stuff I can conjure up to share with the world! Today, I've decided to bare my soul!

So, I was listening to India.Arie this morning on the way to work--very upset because I don't know where my Voyage to India CD is, so I had to "settle" for Acoustic Soul--and "Ready for Love" came on. And as I listened to the words, though I've heard the song many, many times before, I've come to the conclusion that I really AM ready for love! I'm ready for love, and all that comes with it. I'm ready for both the joy and pain. I'm ready to bring my voice, my eyes, my soul/mind to a relationship where a man who likes art and music and loves God will appreciate me!

I think emotionally, I'm ready. I'm more "open and available" than I used to be. I was very, stereotypically" guy-ish before. I had to be poked and prodded to share my feelings, but now, not so much! I think mentally, I'm ready. I'm ready to share--I had a VERY selfish stint a little while back--and be giving. I'm more willing to listen. I've got a healthy view of myself; my self-esteem and self-image are both high! I've got a positive outlook on relationships and longevity and marriage and I'm excited to bring that into my next (and hopefully last) relationship!

So, here I am, ready for love...now what?

Warm-up post

2006-10-31T16:19:00.000-05:00

This message is just to get me warmed up for the month of November!! I'll be posting something every day!! That won't be too hard during the week--except these days, I've been working hard as I DON'T KNOW WHAT--but the weekends is where I'll REALLY need to be diligent!! Whoo!
Any suggestions/questions that you'd like me to cover/answer in the next 30 days, please let me know!

I tried it...

2006-10-30T00:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I decided to see if I could, in fact, drive with headphones on. Why because not only did I see someone with headphones on while on the way to work...but then when I left work for the day, on Friday, I saw someone else with headphones on. So I said, well maybe it's NOT against the law and maybe it IS NOT difficult to do. So...when I was going somewhere--can't remember where now!!--I decided to try it, with my iPod, and couldn't get but about a minute into the song until I felt like I couldn't do it!! It was weird!!
So again I ask, is it against the law?

Driving rules

2006-10-26T11:00:00.000-04:00

I think I need to look at the driving rulebook (at least for MD). Can you drive with HEADPHONES on? There was a woman in a Volvo, who was driving terribly, with headphones on as she drove. I kept saying--"to her"--"you can't drive with headphones on! Can you?" because I think it's against the law. But I don't know. But either way, wouldn't that feel "audibly obstructive"? I think that's how I'd feel! And no, it really wasn't any of MY business...but for whatever reason, it really bothered me!!

A posting ERRY day!

2006-10-26T10:56:00.000-04:00

I have agreed to take part in NaBloPoMo--National Blog Posting Month. It's an alternative to National Novel Writer's Month, or NaNoWriMo, which is the month of November. NaNoWriMo is a program to write an entire novel in one months' time. So, basically for NaBloPoMo, I just have to post something every day. I think I can, I think I can!

Wanna join up? Go here: http://www.fussy.org/nablopomo.html

Bright as a highliter!! Really?

2006-10-24T17:47:00.000-04:00

Warning: the following post is about tinkle aka urine! If you care not to know about this part of my life, please exit this blog now! (Or read a few other posts!)

OK, now that I've given the warning...I have a question:
Is anyone else UTTERLY DISTURBED by the fact that vitamins cause your tinkle (calling it "pee" seemed so juvenile in writing, although that is TOTALLY what I call it in "real life!") to be FLUORESCENT? I mean...honestly, I'm sure that if I took my vitamins later in the day and I went to the bathroom at night, then I'd probably NOT need to turn the light on. I'm rather bothered by the fact that something that is supposed to supplement and help my body causes another bodily function to alter, for lack of a better way to say it, in such a way! My nurse practitioner told me, but when she said "the first time" I thought she meant just that, the FIRST time! Not the FIRST tinkle EVERY DAY after I take my vitamins!! Yikes!! It's very scary and disturbing and disgusting!!

Worthy of Praise?

2006-10-18T17:17:00.000-04:00

I think that we, as a society, are sort of backwards in who and what we praise. Because it can be so "easy" to do the wrong thing, we sometimes praise people who do what they are supposed to do, or we praise or celebrate people for the wrong thing!! But the real issue is that we have lowered the bar on what is right and what is expected. What the HECK am I talking about? Well, I personally know three guys who are raising their children, as in have full custody and are responsible for the day-to-day needs of the child or children. I think it's a wonderful thing!! The guys are singlehandedly raising their children for a number of reasons, whether the mom has passed or if she's just an incompetent parent for whatever reason! And again, I think it's remarkable that these dads that I know have stepped up to the plate. But I was thinking: should they get praise and celebration because they are doing what they SHOULD be doing? I mean, a child should have two loving, capable parents. If something happens to one, the other should step right in and raise, with the assistance of family and good friends, the child or children. I was on the phone with a friend last night and he was doing something ANY good parent would do: preparing his child for the next day. I was like "wow! That's sweet!" BUT, when I thought about it, if any of my women friends who are single parents, or even married, were doing the same thing, I'd be like "yeah, girl...same ole, same ole! Right?" And then I thought, "If he's the one raising her, WHO else will prepare her for tomorrow?" The reason I initially reacted to the fact that these guys--I flipped out, in a positive way!--were raising their children is because too often--if it happens ONCE, that's too often--people DON'T take care of their responsibilities! And because there are such large numbers of households headed by single women, I almost found it unfathomable that there are men who take care of their children alone! On one hand, I think it's incredible and it's wonderful and their stories should be told, but on the other hand, I'm thinking, "Shouldn't more fathers who aren't married to the mothers of their children just do what they are supposed to do?"

Just my thought for the day!

Today!!!

2006-09-29T11:12:00.000-04:00

Today is a beautiful autumn day and I feel like writing so I will...let's just see where my mind takes us today!! Let's start off with this: I'm staying over at a friend's while she and her new hubby are on their honeymoon but I HATE packing clothes (because I get lazy with stuff like that) so I go home EVERY DAY and get something to wear for the next day! Well, I assumed that I left a particular pair of black heels at her house so when I went home last night, all I got was the outfit for today--sufficient toiletries and skivs had been left there--but when I woke up and got dressed this morning the aforementioned heels were NOT there! What WERE my shoe choices? Glad you asked! Black flip flops, pink heels and brown loafers--which are like 4 years old--and some pink sandals! My outfit today was centered around a black, white and turquoise theme so in my opinion, the only real shoe choice I had was the black flip flops! Yes, Toya, I know I'm WAY wrong for wearing them to work!! But I'm even more upset about the fact that it's a beautiful CHILLY autumn day! So yeah...I feel like a genius!! Let's see, what else, I've got a busy weekend planned and I'm already tired, so I don't know how any of this will work out! I think I'll have to nap somewhere in there today!! But I'm excited b/c I'm going to be on wedding overload by the end of next weekend! I was in a wedding last weekend, I'll be attending another one tomorrow and dancing in another! Then, next week, I'm dancing in the vow renewal ceremony of my aunt and uncle!! Lots of weddings! That's good stuff! Now, it's time to concentrate on lunch...any suggestions? LOL! I guess I'll end this right here and now!

I'm a CopyCat...at least sometimes!

2006-09-29T11:10:00.000-04:00

Answer in the comments!
1.Your Middle Name:

2. Age:

3. Single or Taken:

4. Favorite Movie:

5. Favorite Song:

6. Favorite Band/Artist:

7. Dirty or Clean:

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

HERE COMES THE...
1. Do we know each other outside of BlogSpot?

2. Whats your philosophy on life?

3. Would you have my back in a fight?

4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?

5. What is your favorite memory of us?

6. Would you give me a kidney?

7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:

8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

9. Can we get together and make a cake?

10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?

11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?

12. Do you think I'm a good person?

13. Would you drive across country with me?

14. Do you think I'm attractive?

15. If you could change anything about me, would you?

16. What do you wear to sleep?

17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?

19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?

20. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?

Why do I do it?

2006-09-18T00:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, I think I've talked about it before but I watch the Flavor of Love and I don't even know why!! Tonight's episode was so bad that I had to keep hiding my eyes because I honestly think it's disgusting to watch Flav kiss these women!! UGH! (Ok, so I really don't like to see anyone kiss, but Flavor Flav...YIKES!) And he kisses them like one right after the other!! Yuck!! And to me they are nasty to kiss him RIGHT after he's just kissed another woman! Wait, no, they are nasty because they want to kiss Flav at all, but they are utterly disgusting b/c they will kiss him right after he kisses another one of the women!! But...I'm talking LOTS of smack because I will be RIGHT back watching the newest episode next week! Sheesh!

When you feel good...

2006-09-12T16:07:00.000-04:00

You know how "they" say "when you look good, you feel good!"? I'm convinced that saying works just as well the other way!! I think that when you feel good, you look good! I have gotten SO many compliments today and while I do think that my outfit today is pretty and my hair and makeup look good, too, I truthfully think it's just because I am so happy today!!! I'm walking with my head up and I'm smiling!!

Why am I so happy? Glad you asked! Well, I've just been reminded that GOD had NOT forgotten about me!! He knows the plans He has for me and I'm happy about that! Sometimes things happen and you think, or even say, "um...God...HELLO?!"But He'll always remind me that He knows I'm down here and knows what I'm going through!! And lately GOD has really been showing me over and over that He's the best provider we could want or ask for!! Even friends keep on telling me how He's doing BIG things in their lives!! So I'm excited!! And I feel good...and therefore look good! At least, I think!

He's a champion...?!

2006-09-06T13:53:00.000-04:00

SO..yeah I will have two back-to-back posts about one thing: Diddy! Now, again, I LOVE HIM! I honestly do...and sometimes I wonder why! Because in "real life" I HATE extra-ness! I don't like over-the-top, ridiculous, "doing too much" people! And yet, this man who wouldn't be anything if not extra, I love him unconditionally! And I feel it's BECAUSE of that love that I feel like I can properly get on him!! Don't know how many of you have MySpace, or have even heard of it for that matter! But it makes no difference, what matters is that on Diddy's MySpace page, he has a "emergency announcement" posted; it's a video explaining that he and Kim are expecting twins. Ok, great!! Congratulations!! Two new lives to welcome into the world! How exciting for you and your family...but "emergency announcement!" Um...NO SIR! And the fact that he was like "I said, 'baby, you are big!'" was the reason that they decided to head to the doctor's was...well, honest but a lil ignorant!! And the entire time, Kim's just standing there with her profile to us, so I guess we see that she is indeed "big!" And Diddy takes special pride in the fact that they are having twins because I guess he feels "personally responsible!" Now I don't remember exactly what I learned in this area...but does he honestly have the right to be so proud of himself for causing his girlfriend--and yeah, are THEY ever gettin' married--to be pregnant with twins? Like I mean, should he feel like he accomplished some particularly hard feat? He said, "I'm the champion!" Wow! Fatherly pride--I'd never knock it but wow!! And he goes "no press release. I'm just telling my family and friends" and the whole WORLD b/c if you posted it on MySpace, you KNOW the whole galaxy will be tuning it!! Yeah...it's about time for me re-evaluate this love I have for this man!

You can't speak??

2006-09-02T21:01:00.000-04:00

OK, so yeah...still watching the pre-show for the VMAs and Diddy has a freaking SPOKESMAN for the red carpet??? NO SIR!!!! Ok, let me start by saying that I LOVE Puffy--yeah, I AM still holding onto that nickname--though he's PLENTY extra at times!! I think people who sign on with Bad Boy are fools career-wise, but I still love Diddy nonetheless!! And YET, that whole "spokesman" on the red carpet idea was so ridiculous!! Like you are too _____ to speak? Cause whatever you want to put in that blank, you aren't too that!! Trust me!!

What's Left of him!

2006-09-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

OK,
So...I DID predict the divorce of Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson back in September of last year. But...of course, who DIDN'T see that coming? So, since he's available, and I'm currently available, I feel like it's just a matter of time before I'm Tonyette Lache Lachey!

(Am watching the pre-show thing for the VMAs since I didn't see the whole thing on Thursday and he's just as cute as ever!! Whoo!)

Here we go again!!

2006-09-01T20:11:00.000-04:00

Taco has laid another egg! This time my brother was around to intercept it and created a little nest for the egg! Hopefully, this one will hatch! But of course, that then means we've got to find a home for the new baby! Either way, we are excited again!! And my mom is calling herself a great grandmother again!!