Friday, August 15, 2008
So...I've been in a 12-week weight loss boot camp (shamless plug: Reinvent U Boot Camp) and it's been about 9 or so weeks! I'm on a countdown until it's over...no, not because it's been so hard that I'm ready to quit--although, more about that later--but more because I am anxious to see what habits I have formed and what I'll take away from it! One of my main reasons for finally deciding to do the boot camp is so that I'll have healthy habits with regards to exercise and diet to follow! Now, first of all, I wasn't even planning to do the boot camp until my agent (HA! I still love saying "my agent") suggested that I do it. See, I love being full-figured. I love the shape of my body and I feel like it's "me". Who would Tonyette "be" if I were 160 lbs?! Well, the boot camp has been going very well for me, although there WERE some tough times, which surprised me. I would watch The Biggest Loser and wonder why people were crying when it came to losing weight. My thinking was "lose it or don't" but now, going through something like this, I can understand the tears! When you wanna push yourself, feel like you can't, and then someone comes along to help you out and you do whatever the task is! I have asked myself "is it worth all this?". I have had a range of emotions...even when getting compliments! People say things like "you look good" because there is a noticeable difference. I say "thank you" but I think things like "please, I looked good 30 pounds ago!" (Sidebar: I haven't lost that much weight from the boot camp alone...I had already begun to make some changes! I've lost about 30 pounds since last year!) Which makes me get upset and go "so, what, 'looking good' is equated with how thin you are?" Which, in turn, makes me not want to accept the compliment! But, I do accept the compliment because, you know what, I do look good!! And I'm not like "betraying" full-figured women everywhere by losing some pounds! (And trust me, as I quickly learned...even if I were to lose 50 more pounds...in our society...I'd still be full-figured!) So...this is my official "countdown till Boot Camp's end"...21 days and counting!!